Coincidences, Attraction/Prediction

On Friday I was chatting with a colleague and the law of attraction came up. The topic ended with them saying, there are two magical outcomes if you believe this theory. You think so much about something that it happens because you attracted it or you’re a fortune-teller because you predicted something before it happens.

Despite the many anecdotes (some of them outrageous) I’ve listened to about this theory coming into play, I’ve always chalked them down to coincidence. It’s simple, really, thanks to our cognitive biases.

Think of all the times when you’ve really wanted something, thought about it, and never got it. There are way more of those incidents than successful ones. Since there are fewer successes, it’s easier to remember what they are.

Objectively speaking, there’s no winning at this ‘game’. Not everything you think about is going to come to fruition and things will happen in life — whether you think about them or not.

On the same night of the law of attraction conversation, two incidents happened. First, this video popped up on my YouTube feed:

For context, here’s what my typical feed looks like (screenshot from today):

It’s mostly gaming videos, music, and random crypto crash videos because I was on a Coffeezilla binge a few weeks ago. Nothing philosophical or pseudoscience related since it’s been a while since I’ve watched videos like that. A video on “the backwards law” was completely out of place.

Out of curiosity, I watched it and I’m glad I did. I’m no expert on such topics, but the video resonated with me. Since I agree with the points discussed in the video, my cognitive biases made me feel that it was informative (as opposed to useless).

When you try to fall asleep, your effort will keep you awake. Only when you stop trying, you’ll doze off… When we stop trying to be happy, we’ll be happy because there’s nothing we need beyond what is… Thus, the only way to have what we want is not to want it and that’s what the backwards law teaches us.

The backwards law teaches us not to be fooled by the idea that the pursuit of happiness leads to happiness. And with that knowledge, we’re able to enter that blissful state of ‘not wanting’ a bit more often.

Stop Trying to Get It And You’ll Have It | The Backwards Law

My key takeaway is the backwards law is the opposite of the law of attraction. Instead of focusing your thoughts on what you’re lacking (your wishes), make the most of what you currently have. I’ve been unconsciously practicing it. No wonder I’ve been told that I’m too apathetic or relaxed about everything around me.

Turns out I’m just zen.

As someone who’s all about the present (sure, I whine about the past in my lyrics but I’m a singer-songwriter) and never thinking about the future, this video validated my views on life in a more articulate manner.

Next, this video appeared on my feed the same night.

Guess what happened after that? I ate a curry puff for supper and had diarrhea that lasted until Saturday. Urgh.

What a coincidence, especially after watching a video about dirty water.

I was going to eat the bad curry puff that night. I could have skipped it, but I was hungry. Nobody told me it was going to make me suffer. That would have changed my mind about consuming it. Was it my own fault? Doesn’t matter.

Just like how I ruined my watch’s ability to function as a credit card when I updated the Samsung Pay plugin yesterday. Fuckin’ Sammy, please revert this change.

That’s a story for another day.

Thirty K

How much does it cost to transplant hair from the back of your head to your face? Today, I learned the answer, it’s a lot of money. Thirty thousand ringgit to be exact. Well, that’s if your face is as sparse as mine and you have dreams of rocking a full beard like you front an easycore band.

Beard Game Strong

How did I find out? If you’ve been reading this blog for some time, you would know my obsession to look like a pirate. On a side note, it’s unfair to call it an obsession since I didn’t try every single thing — exercising and diet are a thing. But I did try Minoxidil and if that didn’t work, nothing else will. I don’t have any more hair follicles on my face.

A couple of weeks ago, I googled facial hair transplant and stumbled upon a website of DHI Malaysia. It was “the best hair transplant clinic” according to its listing on Google Maps. I dicked around the website, and there was no mention of pricing. Saw a form to fill up for a free consultation and I did.

Earlier this week, I received a text from the company asking me when I was available for a meeting with them. I had completely forgotten about the clinic by then so I thought it was spam. I had to go back to the website to remind myself why I gave up my phone number.

Curiosity got the better of me and I set a date for the meeting, which took place this morning. The consultation went well, with the doctor telling me that Chinese men usually weren’t there to get a beard (I laughed). It was straightforward and they explained the process thoroughly — if you’re curious you can read about it here.

They extract hair follicles from another part of your body (the back of my head) and implant them where you’d like the hair to be (my face). The whole process takes a couple of days because it is done by hand. Imagine planting thousands of hairs by hand, I can’t.

Then for a few weeks, you’ll need to take care of your scalp and face while you recover. If everything goes well, you’ll have a glorious beard for the rest of your life. They had a surgeon come in to draw lines on my face to estimate how many hair follicles were needed for the transplant.

According to them, my ideal beard would require me to move 6,000 follicles. At RM7 per hair, the process would cost RM42,000. But they were willing to give me a big fat discount if I did the operation in June — from RM7 to RM5 per hair. 30,000 bones to look like a rock star with none of the talent.

I thanked them for the free consultation and went on my merry way. Am I willing to spend the price of a car on my face? Not right now. Maybe one day I’ll hit the lottery I don’t play and secure enough dough for the procedure.

Either way, it was an interesting morning I don’t regret. It’s always cool to learn new things. Thanks for reading my blog.

You Have A Lucky Face

“You have a lucky face,” said the stranger who approached me as I was walking out of Suria KLCC.

He was an Indian man, in his early thirties, dressed in a white shirt and jeans. I stared at him, puzzled.

“As if,” I thought to myself, adjusting my face mask while checking to make sure it was still on.

How would you know what my face looks like? You haven’t seen it before.

“Huh?” I said, pretending I didn’t understand him.

“Do you speak English?”

Fuck, I could have pretended not to speak English, I guess I’ll use that next time.

“Yeah”

“You have a lucky face.” As if saying it twice made a difference.

“It’s okay,” I waved him away before he could continue his next sentence. “I’m not interested.”

The man walked away, defeated.

I assumed it was a scam from the get-go and since learning my lesson, I’ve had no time for scammers. Nothing good ever comes from talking to strangers.

I shared the weird exchange with my friends and promptly forgot about it – until today. Seng Yip said the same thing happened to him in Publika this afernoon. No fucking way it wasn’t a scam.

I looked it up on the internet and found a bunch of results, including a blog post dating as far back as 2011, with a comment in 2017 about the same thing happening in KLCC. The biggest article I found was a news report from Australia about victims who fell for it.

This is how the con works: they approach you with that opening line to get your attention. They then talk to you, ask you questions, and deduce your answers by using mentalist tricks.

After using these theatrics to gain your trust, they pull out the big guns. They tell you that they need money for an orphanage back in India – preying on your sympathy. Or that you’ve got bad luck/health problems and if you give them money they’ll help you out (with their powers). If you refuse, you’ll die in a year. Sounds just as ridiculous as kickstarting a rap career, oh wait.

Seeing how it’s been going on for so long and is still around today, it must be a pretty successful tactic. It’s an elaborate scheme and requires a decent actor or conversationalist to pull off. Doubt it would work for uncharismatic people. While it takes a lot more effort than begging, it is actually scummy.

In this post-pandemic world where everyone has a face mask on, they’ll need to come up with better opening lines if they want to thrive. Perhaps something along the lines of, “Your hands are too big.”

“Too big for what?” you’ll ask.

“To hold deez nuts!” then they drop their trousers to show off their massive balls. While you stand there stunned, they grab your shit and run off. Not before pulling their pants up because they might trip otherwise.

“Leading the way to a cashless society.” / I should have said that we’d be happy now

I was thinking to myself how much it would suck to have my phone stolen from me now. It’s so much more important than my wallet. I can survive a day without my wallet on me (barring some strange scenario where I have to present my identity card). But if I didn’t have my phone with me, I would have no excuse but to drive back home to pick it up.

Not having your phone today means not having cash, a way to contact people (or tweet), a GPS, and more. In fact, a few months ago you wouldn’t have been able to enter many places since you prove your vaccination/COVID status without the MySejahtera app.

Touch ’n Go’s eWallet is pretty rad. I enjoy not having to count bills or keeping coins in my pocket. Not all places accept it yet, but they’re becoming less common. If they don’t accept digital cash, I have my watch which can function as a credit card. Then there are online bank transfers as the last step before I resort to using cash. I admire how agile the country has been in terms of adopting digital trends.

Five years ago, I complained about the hassles of our parking system. I’m happy to say that this is no longer the case. It was a bit bumpy initially, with the various apps that we had to download for different areas, but it’s safe to say that paying for street parking is no longer a hassle. Thanks, Touch ’n Go!

I have no more qualms about parking my car anywhere I go these days. Since it’s become available I’ve paid for parking more than ever before. Even when there were occasions that I didn’t feel like paying – I did anyway. Better to be down RM1 than to receive a lucky ticket.

When you reduce the friction of a tedious procedure, it encourages people to utilize it more. At least that’s what I believe. It’s like how Steam conquered the gaming industry, Spotify for music, and Netflix for shows. They proved that when you make obtaining original content easier than piracy while being affordable at the same time, it shifts the scales.

It hasn’t eliminated piracy – people are still going to pirate for various reasons, but it’s better to make some money off ex-pirates than none of it. Media licensing is still a shit show. How long will it take for all these publishers to realize that geoblocking content in this day and age is such a backward practice? Sure, restrict physical goods since distribution and logistics are a pain in the ass to handle globally. But for digital goods? It makes no sense at all. Get with the times, guys. 

I’m annoyed because Welcome Home Armageddon isn’t on Spotify Malaysia despite it having a listing. Why is the acoustic/remix EP (See You All In Hell) available but not the original? It’s times like these, piracy is justified. Also, I can’t believe I haven’t done a music post on Funeral for a Friend yet. A lot of bands get the same treatment on Spotify, especially the Japanese ones (still waiting for chickenrace).

I’m glad Elden Ring wasn’t geoblocked (finished it, by the way, game of the year 2022). Dance Gavin Dance has a new album coming out this year (RIP Tim Feerick), I’m sure it’s going to be a banger as well. What a great year 2022 is going to be. 

I believe.

(please don’t age like milk)

Kind Souls

Don’t have a point to these stories, I just wanted to write about two kind souls I encountered this week.

One: Prepare to Eat

The owner of Afiz Bistro. I paid the mamak a visit this afternoon while waiting for my car to be serviced. While ordering a limau ais and a maggi goreng, I checked my wallet for cash. I only had RM3, so I asked him if he accepted digital cash. He told me no, so I canceled my food order and asked only for the drink.

He served me my drink and went back about his business. A few minutes later, he surprised me with a plate of maggi goreng. I was puzzled, and he told me, “just take it. You can come back next time and pay me back or you can choose to never return.”

I think the man pitied me and thought I was making an excuse for not having any cash on me. Anyway, I thanked him for the noodles. After finishing my meal, I paid him RM2 for the limau ais and told him that I’ll be back again to repay him for the noodles. He smiled and said okay. What a nice man. I set myself a reminder so I won’t forget.

Google Assistant is handy

Two: Supporter of the GNG Stream

Last night, while I was streaming some Dota 2 games, a random viewer decided to send me 75 stars. Out of the blue. I wasn’t doing anything out of the ordinary, I was playing my crappy low MMR games as usual. I pull off any fantastic plays. My mic wasn’t even working properly (I had accidentally launched Audacity, which took over my audio input so it couldn’t be sent to OBS). I lost both of my games last night.

This person I didn’t know, dropped by, saw my stream and somehow thought I was deserving of his $0.75. Dude donated the stars and left without saying a word. Maybe he misclicked (the more I think about it, the more likely this seems). Maybe he was drunk. Whatever it is, I’ve got $0.75 in my Facebook account.

Since I’ve officially made money from streaming, can I call myself professional now?

Clown Feet

It’s been a while since I’ve had to wear shoes. Working from home for the past two years and rarely going into the office meant that my shower slippers were what I wore 99% of the time.

A few weeks ago, I put my shoes on because I had to visit the office. All seemed fine until midday when the soles of my shoes started falling apart. I had to hobble back to my car with half the class of the Mentos lady.

I figured, old shoes, untouched for a long time, they’re expected to deteriorate.

Fast forward a couple of weeks, I put on the nice dress shoes I hadn’t worn in years. The soles literally crumbled as I stepped out of my house onto the welcome mat. What the fuck was going on?

I looked it up. Basically, shoes are designed to crumble so they don’t clog up landfills when they have been disposed of. It’s called Hydrolysis. The materials in your shoes are broken down by water and this process is accelerated when they are kept in places where moisture can’t escape (like in a regular shoe cupboard). The solution to this is simple though it sounds counterproductive: wear your shoes frequently so they can dry out.

With two pairs destroyed in this manner (and one more falling apart, though I think it can be saved with shoe glue, will be bringing that to the cobbler), I decided to shop for new shoes.

My requirements were simple: footwear suitable for formal and casual occasions (so I can wear them more frequently), brown in color, and within my budget of RM500. I didn’t want to spend over a thousand bucks on something that is meant to be replaced.

Which led me to the most unfruitful shopping trip of my life. It wasn’t that I couldn’t find shoes that matched what I wanted – far from it, I’m not that picky. There were many pairs I could see myself wearing if only they came in the correct size.

I walked into almost every shoe shop in Mid Valley and Gardens (Aldo, Clarks, Isetan, Aeon, Metrojaya, Tomaz, Bata, Pedro) – none of them stocked shoes that fit my feet. Geox and Ecco were out of my budget but looking at online stores, it doesn’t seem like they have larger sizes either.

For context – I wear a range of sizes, from UK 11 to 13. Even though size 11 shoes are the correct length, they usually aren’t wide enough to be comfortable for me. I have to buy larger sizes to accommodate my extra-wide feet. This width isn’t standard across all brands and types, hence the variation in my shoe sizes.

Initially, I thought it was a budget thing – maybe cheaper brands don’t have so many sizes, nope. After talking to everyone at the different stores, they don’t stock shoes for people my size. Even Zeve Shoes, a store which a few friends recommended, told me they don’t stock larger sizes anymore – nobody bought them. They recommended I get custom-made shoes instead. How crazy is that?

For feet lovers

I thought, maybe it was an offline store issue. They have limited inventory space, so they can’t keep every single size in stock. Would you believe me if I said Zalora has the same issue?

I filtered men’s shoes > formal > brown > size 12 UK. I got a whole bunch of shoes, but almost every shoe I clicked on was out of stock for UK 12. The only brand that had shoes that size was called Kings Collection (3 out of 27 listings) and I had never heard of them before.

After some deliberation, I decided, fuck it, pulled the trigger, and purchased a pair. I never buy shoes online because of my need to try them out (also, I find the process of returning goods such a hassle) but seeing how I don’t have many options, I might as well go through it once. Let’s hope they fit properly first try.

If I can’t walk into one of Kuala Lumpur’s largest malls to pick up a pair of shoes that fit, something’s very wrong with this country – or me. Am I the only person with clown feet in Malaysia? How do other people deal with this?

Farewell Doiffee

Back in 2014

I’ve never frequented a place long enough for me to see it open, shut down, reopen, switch owners, and then close for good – until l discovered Doiffee. It was a tiny cafe in my neighborhood, run by a husband, wife, and their sons.

I remember my first visit – I was there with my sister and my nephew. I had my first taste of the shop’s signature beans, a cup of hot long black coffee. It became my go-to taste for years to come. From that night onwards, every cafe I visited led me to compare their long black against Doiffee’s. Doiffee always won.

It was the perfect blend of bitterness and thickness and perfectly priced. Since it was cheaper than coffee at western cafes everywhere, tasted better, and was a few minutes away from home, I had no reason to go anywhere else. I have yet to discover a cafe that uses the same beans.


Coffee and cigarettes

I spent many nights there after work, on weekends, and on public holidays. They used to open till 10 PM on weekdays and midnight on weekends. It was quiet, they had fast internet and plenty of seats. Perfect conditions to work or chill on my laptop. I’d even go there to read.

They were rarely closed. If I wasn’t anywhere else, I’d be at Doiffee, on my laptop while I sipped coffee and smoked cigarettes. Occasionally I’d order beers or food but I was mainly there for the coffee.

Unfortunately, times got tough for the cafe. Over the years they started losing customers. It wasn’t common for me to be one of their only customers for the whole day. I’m not sure why, perhaps it was all the other new places opening up in the neighborhood, or the location of the venue. I didn’t care that much. As long as they served the coffee I enjoyed, everything was alright. However, one customer does not keep a business afloat.

Then the pandemic hit. Doiffee had to close its doors. They tried doing deliveries for a bit but it wasn’t sustainable. I couldn’t visit the cafe for a long time. Many months passed without any change. Then one day, when I was in the area, I saw the shutters opened for the first time and wandered in. I met the new manager of the place and he told me that the previous owner had sold off the business. He was the new person in charge. They were making some renovations before they reopened it in a few weeks.

I was ecstatic. Doiffee was coming back! And it did. I resumed my trips to the cafe again, as soon as possible but one important thing had changed – they weren’t using the same beans anymore. Despite the fancy new food menu, their coffee was no longer the same. But that didn’t stop me from returning.

I spoke to one of the staff about the beans and he said I wasn’t the only one who noticed the different beans. I wasn’t the only customer who had brought it up. Eventually, he convinced the manager to switch back to the old signature beans. All was good in the world again.

At this point, traffic to the cafe was decent but it was still nowhere close to what it was in its heyday. Their closing time was now 6 PM but it was better than not being open at all. Things weren’t looking promising.

A few months after the reopening, the new owner pivoted the business. They were no longer interested in cafes and turned it into a Chinese restaurant. They renovated the place, gave it a new name, and changed the staff. That was the end of Doiffee. Though the food there was decent, it was no longer a place to get coffee or to sit and work at. The business was much better for them, but I no longer had a reason to work there.

I’m not sure what happened but a few months later, the Chinese restaurant closed down and turned into a western food place.


One day I’ll find a replacement

Since then I have found another haunt to frequent but I doubt anywhere will be able to replace Doiffee for me. The number of hours I’ve spent there – writing, working, finishing online courses, reading, performing, and chilling with friends – have made it a significant part of my life.

Although I wish it was still around for me to enjoy, a part of me is glad it’s gone. Like a dying animal put to rest – it no longer has to suffer. Would it be right to equate it to your favorite TV show canceled early? Or ending before it dragged on and turned into a mess?

I guess that’s how life is. Everything has an expiry date, we’re merely not privy to that info most of the time. That limited lifespan teaches you to appreciate them before they’re gone. You never know when your favorite cafe (or pet/person/place/thing etc) is going to disappear. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Writing for the Masses; a 40% Keyboard FAQ

ABQ

Based on analytics, the majority of visitors come to my blog looking at my mechanical keyboard posts. Even though they are many years old at this point, my UT47.2, Tofu HHKB vs Tokyo 60 and 1UP Keyboards HHKB reviews still bring the most traffic to this blog. It’s crazy, are there not enough reviews of those keyboards on the internet? Who knows. The funny thing is, I don’t get comments on those posts so I’m not sure if people find them helpful.

This means if I wanted to increase the number of viewers to my blog, I should write more about keyboards. However, my involvement in the hobby has slowly waned over the years. It’s not that I’m done with the hobby – my tastes/interests have been honed to the point where I’m only interested in 40% keyboards. Since it’s not the most popular segment of an already niche hobby, there’s not much to keep up with (which I’m thankful for – it’s been a blessing for my wallet and time).

UT47.2

That being said, I could spend a lot of time talking about how much I love using 40% keyboards. Would it be boring or irrelevant for most readers? Probably but I would be writing about something I care about. I’m not claiming to be the authority on all things 40% but as an enthusiast for the past four years, I know enough to provide intelligent answers.

I reached out to my friends, compiled some questions about 40% keyboards and will answer them in this post.

Daisy HHKB

Where are your numbers? I could never use such a thing!

How do you remember where your capital letters are? It’s really the same thing. But instead of pressing shift, you use a different button. If you think of it that way, you’re halfway there to using a 40%.

In fact, most people have already been using 40% keyboards for a while – think of the keyboard on your smartphone. Almost all the symbols are hidden behind a layer key. It’s the same thing here, with the only difference being you’re typing on a much smaller keyboard.

Equinox

Is there any other point of 40% other than portability? Why do you inconvenience yourself by using such a small keyboard?

The main reason I got myself a small keyboard was to make travelling with one easier. I used to lug around my full-sized to work before I got into smaller form factors. Bringing such a large device around was a hassle, especially when working out of cafes that had tiny desks. I knew I needed something smaller.

Small keyboards give you the joy of typing on mechanical switches without taking up too much space (on your table or in your bag). That’s my main reason for using a 40%. After getting used to the layout, it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It no longer became an inconvenience.

Being able to hit every key I needed without stretching was a game-changer for me. I enjoyed it so much that my 75% at home has a 40% layout mapped out to its keys. I only use the redundant keys when typing with one hand.

Kumo

Should I use a 40% keyboard?

I don’t think everyone needs to use a 40% keyboard but if the opportunity presents itself, I’d recommend trying it out. There’s no harm if you discover it’s not for you. But if you do give it a shot, don’t give up after a day or two. It’s not something you ‘get’ right away and will require some effort. Use it daily for a few weeks before you make up your mind.

If you’re content with what you have and don’t need to downsize your keyboard because you don’t travel much/work away from your desk or you’re happy with your laptop’s keyboard, there’s no reason to try a new form factor unless you’re feeling curious or adventurous. Or you like its aesthetics.

Planck

Do people just instinctively know where to press for what keys and layers etc, after a while of using them? Or is there an easier way to remember for beginners? Like a layout chart or something?

For me, it wasn’t instinctive. I had to learn the hard way. Fortunately, my first 40% keyboard, the Vortex Core had side printed keycaps that helped with the transition. For the first few days, I kept looking at the keyboard to make sure I was hitting the right keys. However, that didn’t last long. Once I started remapping the default layout, the keycaps didn’t match them anymore, so I had to rely on my memory. I also saved images of my layout on my desktop.

I used a Vortex Core in the beginning which eased the transition – but couldn’t rely on the keycaps after a while when I started mapping my own layout. Completely ditched them in the end but I did rely on screenshots/images of the layout I saved on my desktop. I used the same technique for some of the keyboards I got after the Core, but after a few months, I didn’t need them anymore (all my 40% keyboards have very similar keymaps).

Prime E

What are the 2 space bars for?

I use left for space and right for activating a layer. When first moving to 40% keyboards, I paid attention to which thumb I used for the space bar and learnt that I always hit with the left one. This was an easy decision for me to make.

Having a function key for the right bar is something I picked up from using the Core. Since it felt natural to use, I haven’t bothered changing it. I know some people bind it to backspace or enter, and that’s the magic of QMK (or programmable keyboards), you can make it whatever you want it to be.

Ristretto

This wraps up the first part of my 40% FAQ. I’ve got more posts lined up on the topic – questions from a hobbyist perspective and an explanation of my 40% keymap, stay tuned!

Music for Writing

When I think of habits, the first thing that comes to mind is bad. Bad habits. But then I realized, not all habits have to be bad. What is a habit?

According to Google:

noun

1. a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up.

“he has an annoying habit of interrupting me”

While most habits can be considered neutral, the obvious ones aren’t. Smoking, biting your nails, forcing yourself to vomit after each meal can be objectively classified as bad. Eliminating such habits should improve your life.

I’ve written in the past about conditioning myself to work with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. The coffee isn’t harmful (though it gets pricey in the long run) but the cigarette probably is. However, I get work done more efficiently. Does the good cancel the bad?

Imagine if I cut out the bad habits, I’d be able to churn out work without relying on caffeine and nicotine. I’d save money and have healthier lungs while being extremely productive all the time! No way that could work, right? Life is all about balance and without the bad, there can’t be good. I’m a mere human being trying to live a balanced life.

What started as a way to keep me up when covering events in a different time zone turned into a key aspect of my daily routine. What started as a form of amusement while sloshed in nightclubs is why my insurance premium costs a little more. 

We’re two-hundred words in on a post titled “Music for Writing”, George. When are you going to approach the topic? Now, I guess.

It began when I was thinking of what to write about on my blog. I had just finished my coffee and cigarette for the evening. I put on a random playlist from my “writing music” folder and stared at the blank page in front of me.

What is “writing music”? For me, it consists of relaxing music with no or minimal vocals. When I listen to music that I know the words to, I can’t help but sing along (it might be a disease), which distracts me from writing. By listening to music with no words, it’s literally impossible for me to sing along so I don’t get distracted. Therefore I have many playlists of such songs. I was going to share about that.

While still staring at the blank page, I noticed my legs shaking to the music playing in my ears. Which got me thinking about habits and thus, a new post was born. This was more interesting than what I initially planned anyway. The joys of freestyle writing.

Here’s a poem I wrote for #NPRPoetry last year which you might have missed:

it starts with a spark
a parting of lips
I hold you close
and draw you in
my heart beats faster
I feel dizzy
for that brief moment
time stops
everything is okay
I exhale
and do it all over again

It has been over a decade since I started inhaling cancer sticks and consuming coffee. Here’s to many more years of productivity!

Tardiness

“Do you ever wonder about the tardiness of people? You know when you’re in traffic, and you see another car on the emergency lane, skipping lights, and putting everyone’s lives in danger – do you ever wonder why?” asked Captain Prompt.

“I do sometimes. Maybe they’ve got somewhere to go, somewhere to be, and they’re willing to risk their lives because it is that important.”

“But sometimes they might just be assholes who don’t give a shit about everyone around them.”

“Yes, that too. Like Ronny.”

“What about him?”

“He comes in late for his shift sometimes, and you know, since I’m a guard, I can’t really leave my post til he’s here, so I have to wait for him. That makes me late to pick up my kids, and I have to get an earful from their teacher and then from my wife when I get home.”

The security guard of the theater continued, “I know! I’ve brought this up with Ronny many times and at first, he became more punctual. But after a few weeks, he slipped into his routine again. The manager can’t let him go because it’s not late enough according to the rules, but it’s a pain in the ass for me!”

“I feel you,” replied Captain Prompt. “I’m doing the same thing right now. Waiting for our dear villains to show up.”

“What are you going to do to them? Do you need my assistance? I can help you out while it’s still my shift.”

“That depends on when they will show up.”

“Shoot, looks like you’ll have to work with Ronny, I should be gone by then.”

Captain Prompt stood at the entrance of the theater and looked around for something to do. “Guess, I’ll just grab myself some coffee and catch up on my tweets.”

“It’s going to be a while, the Grand Wizard hasn’t even arrived yet.”

“I’ll be waiting.”


Writing Prompt from Reddit: [MP] Rather than “just in the nick of time”, the hero shows up 4 hours early, and awkward smalltalk ensues