So you fought an honest battle, but this was meant to be.

(this post was started on March 20th)
Here I sit in my room, barely awake from a dream I had last night which was one of the oddest experiences ever. I was at a company dinner, it wasn’t mine, I can’t recall who now, but there were ang pows given out, and I picked the one with a hundred bucks. Then later I ended up at some Inspidea company dinner as well, and won another hundred bucks from a lucky draw. I felt pretty happy that night, winning 200 bucks. Other events included me jumping into a swimming pool while dressed up in formal wear. It’s just amazing what dreams are made of. And when you think about how dreams are based on life, it makes you appreciate how wonderful life is. Life is brilliant, it’s amazing in fact. We should spend every waking moment doing what we want to do. But instead, most of the time we just spend it talking, planning, thinking about things, and not seizing the day by the balls and going all out; putting words into action and plans into motion.

I feel that’s what I’ve been doing a lot recently. Here’s the list of things that I said I’d do, but haven’t done yet: my comic, the artwork for my EP, a redesign of this website, sketches to upload to deviant art, pen lyrics for new 2storeyheart and The Wishing songs, finish reading my books, finish my work on time, and that’s only some of the things I can accomplish at home. There’s still stuff to do in the rest of the world. I’m already 25, and there’s a lot I haven’t done.

(resumed March 28th)
What is the point of going for something when you’re uncertain of the future? Do you do things to try and change things into your favor, or do you give up knowing your efforts will go to waste? Do you accept what you’ve been given? Or do you strive to defy all odds? What if no matter what you do, it won’t ever work out the way you want it to be? What if no matter what you do, it works out right, all the time? When do you know to continue chasing something that’s flown away? Does the man who takes his one last breath of air before he jumps into a pool of sharks think about whether he’s going to die from shark attacks or from drowning? How about the pirate with the pistol that pushed you off the plank? Maybe he thinks about the pirate shooting him. Or that giant octopus lurking somewhere?

Is a man idealistic if he jumps into a pool of sharks, and expects to not get bitten, and be rescued by some mermaid or Aquaman passing by? Or maybe saved from above by an angel swooping down from the heavens? How about what about all the water in the sea suddenly drying up leaving the shark to flounder around uselessly? What if the man yells at the sharks, “Hey, I love you sharks! Therefore, you should love me back! All my life I’ve been nice to you, I take care of you, I feed you, I study you, hell I even named my first kid after you guys! Do you know what I mean? Do you? Do you? And you’re just gonna rip my throat out like I’m some any other guy swimming in the ocean, can’t you tell?”

Imagine he did that, and the sharks agree not to kill him, and crown him as king of sharks and they let him be. But then, a Pit bull swims into the middle of the ocean and mauls him to death.

Set Your Dreams/ Live Your Goals

Why do people say ‘live your dreams’ when sometimes dreams are so easily achieved or stupid?

Like the other night I dreamt that I drove a car into a bunch of cops sitting on a table at a mamak. I see it all the time (cops at mamaks), and I could easily ‘live my dream’ if I wanted to. Would doing so give me a sense of accomplishment? Maybe. But it would definitely give me a life time in jail or a death sentence. Either way, it’s not something you want to do.

Half the time dreams don’t make sense.

Like a few years ago, I had this dream of being kidnapped by a hot girl and we were making out in the backseat of her car while I was tied up. I mean, sure that was hot as hell but how do I get myself kidnapped? Let alone by a hot girl?! I’m of no value (at least in the monetary sense) so nobody would benefit from kidnapping me. Maybe that dream meant that I should work hard until I become rich enough (or of some value) to be kidnapped. I guess one could interpret it in that way.

What if someone dreamt about murdering their parents? And they did it. Would they say ‘my dream came true!’ ‘I lived the dream!’

So in this fucked up world where everybody takes things to literally, I think the right word should be ‘live your goals’. Unless your goal is to become a serial killer.

You know you love your job when.. dream about your office. haha

A few weeks back when I was in Singapore, I had this weird ass dream that I saved on my phone-

I had a weird dream last night. Inspidea expanded and I came back to work in a totally brand new office with tonnes of new people and new equipment.
Loads of people left their guitars in the office.
We had a massive library, comparable to Kinokuniya and a quite number of hot chicks.
But all I could think of was, “Fuck! All my mp3s are gone! What’s Jason’s share? It’s not ninos-13! I hope he copied all my songs!”

The reason for my lack of updates- computer has been screwy for awhile and I only finished formatting/reinstalling all my stuff a few days ago. Now its fixed and I’m back online, so clap your hands and dance to some FTSK!

The return of the lamb.

I had a two dreams last night.

First dream-
I went to church. There was a cell group meeting going on and when I went into the room and sat down, all the people in my cell started whispering to one another. And then suddenly, one person started clapping, and then the whole room followed. It was like a miracle had happened or something. Then I woke up from my dream and thought, ‘hey! maybe it’s a sign to go to church’. I checked the time- it was 11. I was late. Then I went back to sleep.

Second dream-
This one was pretty stupid. It was so random. It started out at work, and I got a call from Alvin and the IMU bunch to go play DOTA at some cybercafe nearby. I tried to start my car and it wouldn’t start cos it was on all night playing music. Somehow in my dream I confused the music coming from my pc was coming from the car instead :p After that, when I reached the cafe and was looking for parking, my car somehow folded up into some pocket sized thing and I was carrying it in my hand looking for a cheap car park. And then I don’t remember what happened after that and I woke up.

“Dedication takes a life time, dreams only last for a night” – All Time Low