Read Only Memories

“It’s about time you change that phone of yours. Come on, it’s a frickin’ iPhone 3G!”
“But it’s served me well!”
“Half your screen is dead, your home button doesn’t function anymore and you can’t adjust your phone’s volume!”
“I can still text and make calls, that’s what matters!”
“You might as well be using an old Nokia then, come on. I’ll give you my old phone. It’s rooted and I’ve got a custom ROM on it so it’s speedy and battery life is still great.”
“But I’m so used to my iPhone!”
“I’ll install an iOS-like launcher for you, but trust me you’ll never want to go back to an iPhone after moving to Android!”
“How much are you getting paid, shill?”

I laughed in response. “Chill here for a bit, I’ll head to my room to grab the phone.”
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Do you really need to see an ID? this is embarrassing to say

People inquire about my age all the time. And when I tell them, they usually act surprised. No way! You don’t look 30, you look much younger than that!

Anyway, that got me thinking. I don’t do anything on purpose to look younger than what my age really is, so it must be something that I do in life which affects my appearance. So in no particular order and by nobody’s request, I’ve decide to share with you my daily routine.

  • work long hours in a stressful environment
  • smoke cigarettes
  • vape
  • drink alcohol
  • don’t exercise
  • sleep less
  • oversleep (occasionally)
  • spend your nights gaming or watching streams redditing before sleep
  • gaming on your phone before sleep
  • drink coffee from doiffee
  • don’t overeat (unless you’re really hungry and havemt over eaten in a while, then you get a free pass)
  • drink coke light or coke zero
  • drink lots of water
  • listen to a lot of music and podcasts
  • smile a lot
  • think of fucked up things which make you laugh
  • masturbate often
  • sing to myself
  • wear fitting clothes
  • try new hairstyles
  • wear thick framed glasses
  • don’t be afraid to try new things
  • don’t go on long holidays
  • travel for work
  • don’t plan for the future, focus on what I have now
  • own a cute dog
  • get a tattoo or two
  • give up religion
  • cut out things from your life if you don’t care about them
  • wear hoodies, even if the weather doesn’t agree you
  • switch to a mechanical keyboard
  • work even if you’re unwell
  • buy cheap guitars from Lazada
  • I’m not sure which ones you should follow if you’re trying to look younger but to be safe you should do all of them. Happy holidays, kids!

    I am an inconvenient thing

    Welcome to my timely update which always seems to come before or after every Big Bad Wolf Sale! Not much to add besides that I’ve been extremely busy (like how I’ve been throughout the whole year) preparing for the grand finale to 2016. Also, I’ll be headlining with The Sounds of Kites on the 22nd of December at Bullseye Publika for my 103rd gig (shit, I’ve only played like 9 shows this year). More details on that another day. UPDATE: GIG HAS BEEN CANCELLED.
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    Of flies and mosquitoes

    One of the new things I’ve started to experience recently is the feeling of missing home. Maybe it’s old age. Maybe it’s knowing that I have some people dependent on me back home.

    Whatever it is, it’s a new experience. Being someone who didn’t travel overseas to finish college or university, I never had the experience of leaving home for very long periods of time. The longest time I spent away from home was during my one month-long TESOL course.

    In the past 6 months, I’ve probably been away from home for almost two months. And it’s just the beginning. Beginning next year, I’ll be traveling again for work every month or so. It’s crazy. Earlier this year, my girlfriend, Milin was contemplating moving to Hong Kong for work. She declined the opportunity – it would have been a breakup or a long distance relationship. Now it feels like an LDR, except that I’m the one who is away from her instead. Funny how life throws you curve balls.

    Anyway, enough rambling about being away from home. But one thing I will say is that we’ve got awesome food. Also, our weather isn’t terrible. Sure, it gets extremely hot at times, but you can just stay indoors and enjoy air-conditioning.
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    Gig #100: Milestones

    These year, and few weeks in particular have been a rollercoaster. Time sure flies when you’re busy and I’ve been busy as hell.

    Countless insect bites line my arms and legs – battle scars of a battle about to begin. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be in Indonesia again for the upcoming Big Bad Wolf Book Sale in Surabaya.

    On the side, I’ve also been busy helping out with the purchasing of books for our future sales (in case you’re wondering what I do at work or when I’m traveling, it’s what I usually do at work). Oh yeah, and I crossed the one year mark last week as well.

    Over the weekend, Milin and I celebrated our upcoming second year anniversary.

    This year I started exploring new ways to create music. I’ve been dabbling with some electronic shiz on my PC, phone and tablet. I’m terrible and have nothing of value to share, but keep your ears peeled for some chillstep (I kid) tunes in the future. I’m gonna pick up a MIDI controller soon and learn me some piano. Also, I decided that I should learn how to play lead guitar so I’ve also started that. In the meantime you can still expect to hear my emo, crybaby acoustic songs at gigs.

    Which brings me to this Thursday night – I’ll also be playing my hundredth gig. Yes, that’s right. And if you’re wondering how I know, it’s because I have been chronicling it on my blog.

    I’m not going to do anything fancy or whatever, I’m just playing an open mic slot for a show my charismatic and foul-mouthed friend, Ian Tai is headlining <3 It'll also be the first time I'll be playing the same show as Ferhan's younger brother, Luqman. He’s like part of the next generation of Malaysian Youtubers, follow him for some lit content fam.

    B.I.G. – Ian Tai | Event Page
    Thursday
    9:30 PM – 11 PM
    Barlai (The BIG Group)
    3, Jalan Sin Chew Kee, Bukit Bintang, 50150 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

    ***IAN TAI***

    Eyebrow-raising solo 5-chord powerhouse singalongs about the fluff of life, delivered by a chubby Chinaman with a Fu Manchu-contestable beard.

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThePropositions/
    Twitter: https://twitter.com/thepropositions
    YouTube: https://youtu.be/8nAFy-7GR0g

    ***OPEN MIC MY***

    #1 Qhotakmusica
    #2 George Sai Krok Wong
    #3 Luqman Firdaus Faidzan

    Tag us #OpenMicMY

    http://openmicmalaysia.org/

    Lapse

    Just put something down dammit. Stop erasing and rewriting your words. I’ve been telling myself that for the past 20 minutes. You don’t accomplish anything by doing nothing. Just start, don’t stop, let it flow.

    I’ve never traveled so much before in my life. When I signed up for this job, I had no idea there was going to be so much traveling involved. First it was local, then interstate, then to Indonesia, the US, and now, Thailand. Next week, I’ll be in the UK and the following month I’ll be in Indonesia again.

    Currency. Why do we need different currencies? Why can’t life be a video game. Let’s just all use gold coins. Or ringgit notes (kek). Until now, I haven’t gotten used to counting money in Indonesian Rupiahs. Why do they have so many zeroes? I think they can truncate three zeroes and their currency would still function properly. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything cost 1 IDR.

    I finally took the plunge and invested in a proper luggage bag. Wow, what a difference it makes. Now, I just throw all my shit I want to bring into the bag. I don’t have to compromise on my items anymore. Also, it’s so much fun pushing my bag compared to getting straps digging into my shoulders. I guess I should have invested in one a long time ago.

    After all these years, I think I can fully use my whole passport. I think now I’ll be able to renew it because I ran out of pages – not because it expired.

    I wonder what Snuggles thinks of when I’ve been away for so long. What goes through her mind? I hope she doesn’t get upset. That would be terrible. I’d rather she forget that I existed instead of being sad and waiting for me to return.

    Sometimes I wish I could be in two places at once.

    The other day I dreamt that my elder sister and my friends organized a birthday party for me – on her own birthday. Confusing right? What’s worse is that I forgot it was her birthday and she was upset about it. In my dream, I was telling everybody thanks for coming to my birthday party. I woke up feeling guilty and confused. Why would you organize someone else’s birthday party on your own birthday?!!

    My next gig will be number 100. I hope I get to do something before the end of the year!

    How to pay for rap music (you don’t want)

    Just another day – or so I thought. I stepped out of the cold, dark Abercrombie and Fitch flagship store into the bright, hot sidewalk on 5th avenue. I looked around for some shade to stand under – nothing in sight on this side of the street and I wasn’t going to bother crossing the road just to smoke a cigarette. So I leaned against the glass and lit up a stick. Under the blazing sun, I smoked my cigarette and observed people walking by, going about their daily lives.

    I was about to finish my death stick when all of a sudden I saw a CD in a clear plastic sleeve thrust in front of my face, accompanied by an announcement from a stranger, “hey man, this is my CD, check out my music, I’m giving it to you for free.”
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    Someone that understands and sees through the master plan

    So I saw this article shared on Facebook the other day (despite it being over 3 years old) – a report about adults being chastised for being ‘adultescents’ – 25 to 40-year-old people who don’t have the typical ‘get married, start a family, buy a home’ mindset.

    Not too long ago, somebody told me that “I’ll want kids” – he made it sound like it was a crime or abnormal to think otherwise.

    Every Chinese new year (or family gathering with relatives I don’t see very often) the same questions pop up. Even your cousin is married, when is your turn?

    Normally I don’t care about such ignorant/blanket statements (people can say whatever they want), but for some reason I felt compelled to respond to them today.
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    Tales from Tangerang

    I can’t believe it’s been almost 3 weeks since I left KL for the Big Bad Wolf Book Sale Jakarta. Tomorrow is the last day of the sale before we start the whole tear down – something we all dread since it’s not exactly fun. But hey, overall, it’s been a great trip.

    Firstly, the sale isn’t even in Jakarta. It’s actually in a city called Tangerang, 25 kilometers away from Jakarta. Something I only discovered after landing. Not that it really mattered – people from all over Indonesia attended the sale anyway. Also, BBW Tangerang doesn’t really roll off the tongue.

    Tangerang is a pretty nice city. It’s not too different from KL, so I didn’t really feel homesick (not that I feel homesick often anyway). However I do miss people and Snuggles, so I’m looking forward to going back home.

    I’ve come to appreciate the efficiency of Malaysian cashiers. They are really miles ahead when it comes to efficiency. I’ve never waited so long for a McDonald’s meal before.

    Counting in Rupiah is challenging. Maybe I’m just mentally challenged but shit, the number of zeroes they have to deal with. Why not just remove three zeroes since the lowest denomination they have is 1000 anyway? I have no idea. But stuff here is generally cheaper than back home. And even the pop up restaurants outside the event didn’t cost an arm and a leg for a drink.

    My command of Malay is terrible – and despite Indonesian being pretty similar, there are quite a number of words which don’t carry over. I definitely had trouble communicating sometimes. Fortunately I have Google Translate to help. Download your dictionaries for offline use – it seriously helps.

    The sale has been tiring. On the plus side, I feel like I can lift heavier shit. No idea if I’ve been this strong all along or I’ve gradually gotten stronger over the past few months. I’m also better at using a pallet jack than I was a few months ago. Nicked myself with a cutter earlier today – only injury I’ve had so far. Saw this one dude with a hugeassmotherfucking water blister on his toe. They call it ‘kapalan’ over here. Something to do with a ship because there’s water inside the blister.

    I also learnt some important words – the Indonesian word for masturbate is apparently a word that sounds like ‘cholly’.

    Also discovered a new band which I’m digging a lot – The 1975 (thanks Pam! btw do check out her paper craft, it’s insane) here’s one of my favorite tracks from them:

    They remind me of California Wives. Good shit.

    Other than them, Cigarettes After Sex and Lil Dicky has been my playlist for the trip.

    I saw a man wash his hands with the water from a urinal. I’m not sure if that’s better than the plethora of dudes who don’t wash their hands at all.

    Also, eating food that’s 12+ hours old can give you a tummy ache.

    I made plenty of new friends and even managed to meet some old ones.

    It’s been a good trip. See you again, you crazy, crazy book hungry people.

    bb