The SMOrc Supper

“We’re not sorry.”

Those were the last words I heard from my parents before they walked away from me, moments before my death. I was lying in a pile of filth of my own doing – blood, shit, and sand – waiting for my last breath.

A large group of people had already crowded around me. Some were filming me, broadcasting my final moments before I left the world. Some were on the phone calling for help. Others spoke in hushed tones among themselves.

For once in my life, I felt regret. If I could rewind the past 5 minutes of my life, I would. Alas, I’m no time traveler. Just another teenage boy who refused to act rationally during a row with his parents.

Have you ever been told by your parents that you were worthless and would amount to nothing? And if you died they would cry tears of joy? Well, that happened to me earlier today. It started when I told them about something I had done earlier that morning while we were on a roller coaster ride at the local amusement park. They weren’t pleased at all.

So, like any other childish teenage boy, I wriggled my way out of the safety harness and jumped off the cart at the apex of the ride, just before the first plunge. The fall was quick and hurt like hell.

As my vision blurred and started to fade, on the side of the water storage tank tower in the middle of the theme park, I caught a glimpse of my magnum opus. A parody of the last supper, with Shrek taking the spot of Jesus. From the ground I could hardly see the artwork, but from the top of the roller coaster we would have had the best view.


Writing Prompt from Reddit: Flash Fiction Challenge! Location: Amusement Park | Object: Graffiti

My first time doing one of these! It was hard sticking to the max 300 word limit.

Do Nothing

“$100,000 for doing nothing. Sign me up!” I thought to myself as I hit submit on the form after giving them my name, email address and phone number. That seemed like the perfect thing for an out-of-work person like me (or as some people say ‘in between jobs’. I then returned to my routine of browsing funny pictures of dogs and cats on Reddit.

It was less than a minute when I received an email address from the company, aptly named Company X, about this curious job. You will be receiving a phone call from us within the next few days confirming your application. “Sweet!”

A few days had passed since I signed up for the ‘do-nothing’ job, and I was doing my usual internet browsing at a cafe near home. I had already written off the dream job I signed up for (they must have had a shitload of applicants) and was just going through some job sites looking for work that tickled my fancy.

Most of them were boring, uninteresting jobs that paid terrible. There were a few high paying jobs that caught my eye (alien hunter and stray cat rescuer) but I had second thoughts about applying for them. Mom didn’t like me risking my life for money, and the reason I needed work was to take care of her anyway. No point risking my life for high-paying jobs if I couldn’t finish them to give her any money.

I was about to pack up my laptop and head for dinner when I received a call from an unknown number.

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The Way

Where the hell am I? I thought to myself as I was being shooed off the bus. I had fallen asleep and missed my stop. And since it was past midnight, the bus wasn’t going to make another trip back.

I adjusted my backpack on my shoulders and walked out of the parking lot of the bus station. It was pitch black save the occasional street lamp illuminating a section of the road. But as far as I could see, there was nothing around me. No buildings or landmarks that I recognized. How long was I asleep? I pulled out my phone and tried to call an Uber. There was nobody in the area to pick me up. Shit.

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Time and time (again)

It all started when I was ‘punished’ by Muthu. Leader of one of the most notorious gangs in the Federal Correctional Institute. He didn’t like the way I eyed him for three seconds when he cut in front of me during lunch time. I did my best to give him a ‘don’t fuck with me’ stare because I was there for murder and wasn’t remorseful about it. He didn’t seem fazed, as evident during our toilet break – he and his goons grabbed me and shoved my head into one of the restroom’s toilet bowls.
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Golden

Like a person in a desert, looking for a drink, the man stumbled through the night for his favorite drinking joint. The one that stayed open until the wee hours and wouldn’t kick him out for being too drunk. After all, what’s the point of drinking if you don’t drink until you hit your limit?

The glowing light of the bar’s signboard cut through the foggy night. Yes, I am almost there! His pace sped up, as he imagined the bubbly, golden liquid pouring into his mouth. That sweet, sweet beer. I must have it!

He paused at a traffic light intersection and looked around for cars. There were none. The street was empty tonight. Strange for a Saturday night, but he didn’t think much of it. He crossed the road without waiting for the green man to light up.

Faint music could be heard as he got closer to his destination. Chinese techno nonsense. He would tell the owner to switch it when he ordered his drinks at the bar. He crossed another street and was at the entrance of the pub. ‘t “Golden” it was called. He didn’t know why. Neither did the owner who decided to keep the bar’s name because he didn’t want to spend additional money on a new signboard.

The man pushed the right door open (one of the double doors remained locked because the owner refused to fix it) and stepped in. Instantly he was greeted by the sounds of Chinese lyrics over generic electronic beats. It was pure noise to him. There was nobody else in the pub bar the lovely barmaid who stood behind the counter. He’d given up trying to score her number a long time ago and stayed content with being the lonely customer who’d stare at her longingly. She liked younger men – at least that’s what she told him anyway. He approached her and climbed onto a stool by the bar. “One jug please!”

“One jug coming right up,” she replied with a smile. She turned around and grabbed a jug from the rack. Jug, rack, heh heh heh.

“Is Charlie in tonight?” the man asked her.

“Nope, but he may or may not come in later.”

“Later? It’s already eleven! Doesn’t he have a business to run?”

“What business?” She responded, her eyebrows signalling to the empty seats and tables around them.

“Well, it usually is more happening. What’s going on tonight?”

“Beats me,” she shrugged. The barmaid scraped the foam off the top of the jug and placed it on the counter in between them. She grabbed an empty glass and started pouring beer into it from the jug.

“Pour yourself a cup,” the man told her and she obliged happily.

“By the way, can you turn off this crappy music?”

“You know I enjoy this crappy music right?” she responded with her fingers signalling air quotes.

He laughed, “you must be pretty damaged to enjoy this shit!”

“Some people like vanilla, some people like chocolate flavored ice cream,” she said as she started walking towards the audio system.

The techno music stopped abruptly and was replaced with the more pleasant sounds of Eric Clapton unplugged.

“So much better. Thanks.”

“You know I’m going to switch it back when you get drunk later right?”

“I won’t even notice then.”

“So, what brings you in tonight?”

“I mean, come on, do I even need a reason to be here?”

That Darn Cat

He sat and waited in his car, but she didn’t show up. Her car was home but she was nowhere to be found. There was no answer when he called her phone, he thought to himself, ‘she must be busy’. He waited for another five minutes before he left. He had everything he wanted to tell her all planned out and rehearsed in his head. ‘I guess I’ll try again another day.’ He felt his heart sinking and fought back tears as he drove home.


Oh man, he’ll be so disappointed
hope he doesn’t think I avoided
him on purpose! I can’t believe that
I’m stuck in this car ‘cos of my cat.

I fell in trying to get him out
of my trunk, clunk! was what I heard
before I blacked out – my vision was blurred

I passed out and I lost track of time
Before I woke and started to yell
Get me out before I lose my mind!
I didn’t want to die, can’t you tell?

Sure enough, I heard his car pull up
It idled for a while then he gave up
Guess he’ll never know what happened
I found myself fading


Writing Prompt from Reddit: Write two sides to the same story, one in Verse, one in Prose.

Re-Entry

“Get out of here, shoo! You don’t belong here. Fuck off!”
“Look, I don’t know what you’re hopped up on and I don’t care, but I’ll call the cops if you show up here again.”

My vision blurry, I stumbled out of the club’s rear entrance, hands fumbling in the air for a wall to prop myself upon. Kids these days, don’t they know who you are? You’re the fucking boss! How dare they disrespect you? So what if you’re high as a kite, you can do whatever you want, it’s your establishment! Yeah! Don’t these kids dope too? Damn hypocrites. Not wanting to get into another scuffle with the bouncers, I decided to approach the club from a different direction.

I paused for a moment to catch my breath, then I reexamined my options – claiming to be the club’s owner didn’t seem to work and nobody seemed to believe me. It was going to be tough sneaking in because for some reason club security had tightened due to crime-related problems over the past few years. I didn’t have my phone with me, so it was impossible to make a call to my assistant who should be able to get me in with no issues and if I borrowed somebody’s phone, I wouldn’t have been able to call her because I didn’t remember her number.

I heard the sound of a large vehicle pulling up next to where I exited earlier tonight – it was the ice supplier! Great, here’s your chance to get into the club. I sneaked up to the driver’s side door and waited for him to open it. Just knock the driver the fuck out, put on his uniform and pretend to deliver ice. This was some Hitman-level shit. You’re a freaking genius! When he had half of his body out of the vehicle, I slammed the door onto him.

However, in my current condition, my door slam translated into a mere thud against the burly-sized driver who got out of the truck with a confused and annoyed look on his face. “The fuck is wrong with you?” were the last words I heard as I felt my body slammed against the side of his truck.

Ouch. He hurt us. In the distance, sirens approached. Not long after, I felt arms lift me into the back of a vehicle.

The following day, the papers read “Escaped Metal Asylum Patient Finally Found – Sneaking Into His Own Club!”. Oh boy, now it wasn’t just the voices in my head who were laughing at me.


Writing Prompt from Reddit: Foreshadow the ending of your prompt within the first five sentences, but make it so subtle that it’ll still be a surprise.

Red Sky



Someday Maybe by PyriteKite

Nobody was prepared even though we knew well in advance it was going to happen. We all just ignored the signs – or just believed that it wasn’t going to happen. The end of the world. That’s what they said it was.

It was all over the news – on the TV, on radio, on the internet. Nobody could stop talking about it. It was finally happening. After all the predictions that never happened in the previous years, it was finally coming true.
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Remy

Wow! Look at all those kids playing in the park. Golly, I wish I had feet – then I would join them in the grass. We’d run around, kick balls and chase each other until we got tired and collapsed on the grass. That would be great. I wonder if my owner would ever take me to the park. Speaking of my owner, I hear him coming.
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