The awesome present/date

I feel like my body has been rewired internally.
Without my consent.
For the past 50 hours I’ve been pissing out of my ass. Not literally. But I’ve been suffering from diarrhea and it is pretty severe.
Medication isn’t helping either. Neither is my avoidance of spicy/milky/oily foods.

I feel like this guy now:

Now that I’ve disgusted you enough, onto my blog post :p

Awesome presents make ‘okay’ dates great, and vice versa.

I remembered the first time I ever planned a ‘special date’ for Raelene. It sucked– really bad. I think I was late for that date, I was broke; we had to order cheap food in a nice restaurant. I totally missed on her present. I bought her a CD of one of her favorite bands (which apparently girls don’t rate high on their list of things to receive as presents from boyfriends -_-” ). That night was horrible.

Fast forward to a more recent ‘special date’ which I planned for her- home cooked food at my place. Prior to that date, I had never ever cooked food for her. I mentioned my dislike for cooking, and how I would never do it. I made her wait in the car while I went in the house ‘to get something’ when actually I was preparing the meal :p I put on some good music, rushed out, brought her in and surprised her. Man, was she happy. That day I didn’t give her a present. It didn’t matter, the day was awesome enough 🙂

Not too long ago was our 2nd year anniversary- I bought her an awesome present. Something she really liked- CK One Summer perfume. She was really happy about it. The date went pretty well- nothing fantastic of anything, but overall it was good because the present was a hit.

Now I don’t know what the point of this post is anymore– I just took a note from my handphone and expanded on it. Haha. I guess it kinda reminds me about a story I heard about what dentists used to do when they pulled your teeth out- they would drop a heavy rock on your foot and while you screamed in pain they would remove your tooth. The larger pain distracts you from the smaller pain.

So if you have a shitty date planned, remember that a great present can save the day! (and vice versa)

I am cornier than you

True conversation that happened at pasar malam earlier tonight-

I don’t know how I can bring myself to say such things.. lol

Chicken Rice Balls (and more stories from my handphone)

So I haven’t posted in awhile. I haven’t been too free. But all that has changed! Muawahahahaha

I spent last Thursday, Friday, and Saturday at the office working my ass off (with my colleagues) to meet a deadline (we didn’t make it anyway lol). Reminded me of my final semester at Lim Kok Wing, where I wouldn’t sleep and just work all day and night. Eating like one meal a day, just working, working working..

Anyways..on to clearing out the saved messages on my handphone:

I don’t see what’s the point of chicken rice balls- they taste the same as normal chicken rice. You just have a harder time eating it. Someone decided they could make money by making balls out of rice and selling them at higher prices. Well I guess it worked!

Written when I was on a trip to Melaka awhile back..chicken rice balls FTL!

Cars should have a ‘go ahead’ light! You sometimes you encounter situations when you’re moving slowly and another car slows down for you, you don’t get it, but when you do and speed up, the other car speeds up and you can’t go anymore.. Sometimes they flash their lights, but you never know what they mean! Go? or don’t go!

Written when I was annoyed with cars.

Villains aren’t so cool anymore. I saw a snatch thief victim. Blood all on his hands. I felt pity for him.

Now I understand why people never glorify real villains.

My mom doesn’t like going back home before completing everything, its a waste of time i guess it rubbed off on me

A load of gibberish, but it basically means that nowadays, I don’t like going out of the house, coming back home and then going out again. If I’m going out, I want to get everything done before returning home. Something my mom does all the time. Last time whenever I came back home and went out again, she would scold me, ‘wah you think petrol so cheap ah?!’ so I guess I slowly conformed.

A mars a day helps you work, rest and play

I read if on the Mars chocolate bar wrapper.

Everytime someone jumps a red light, I like to shake my head in hopes that they would see me and feel guilty

Doesn’t everybody do that? They go ‘tsk tsk’ inside the car, when clearly the other person 10 meters away, behind at least 2 layers of glass can hear them. The things people do.

My cousin is twelve and I wear smaller shirts than him

Something is obviously wrong here.

Bringing sprouts to a cashier, express counter denies entry.

I always wondered if one day what if a cashier decides to play a prank and deny to serve a customer who brought a bag of sprouts to the express counter. ‘less than 10 items sir! that looks like a 100 beans!’

And to conclude, I shall leave you guys with a taste of an upcoming project :p
Click here
I’m not saying what it is.. yet 🙂

The AFC Model

By Tyler

The Average Frustrated Chump (a term coined by Ross Jefferies), is defined in The Game as a guy who tends to engage in supplicative and wimpy behavior around women. In other words, our beloved AFC is the mythical Nice Guy that always finishes last and will forever buy into the frame of how the jerk always gets the girl.

Some guys with natural abilities to pickup women and be comfortable around them, and some just simply do not have any game whatsoever. I personally believe that this is all due to upbringing, where our AFC might have had such chivalrous notions like buying women flowers, dinner, gifts, opening doors for them, waiting on them hand and foot, grounded into them at an early age, by none other than their mom. It’s ironic because the values women like our mom teach us are the values they avoid, at least in part.

The mentality of “If I’m nice she’ll like me,” is very true. Women love nice guys, guys who can treat them right and such, but AFC’s will misinterpret sucker, for nice. Common misinterpretations include phrases such as:

Her: “Could you fetch me to my friend’s house? We’re supposed to have a study group today.”

Her: “Listen, I need someone to help me move house, I would be eternally grateful if you could lend me a hand.”

Her: “Could I borrow your notes for this lecture? I’ve been partying SO much this week I haven’t been able to make it for class.”

Her: “Hey you wanna follow me to the mall today? I got some stuff I need to do but I don’t want to go alone.”

Her: “I’m so hungry. Could you do me a favor and buy me lunch? I really don’t feel like going out into the hot sun today.”

If you have said YES to any such requests, or requests that are similar, I’m sorry to say that traces of AFC have been found in your system! Okay maybe I’m exaggerating and those might be perfectly innocent requests and that not all women are whores and liars, but there are some women who do know that they’re manipulating you and do it anyway. Of course this doesn’t mean that you should be a total jerk and refuse all requests, but try to be a little perceptive, gauge and calibrate for yourselves. AFC’s make the mistake of thinking that they’re earning brownie points with the women but instead are earning “haha sucker!” points.

Well God forbid that AFC’s remain single forever. Once in a while AFC’s get thrown a bone and some hook up and get girlfriends. This isn’t an excuse for you to sit on your ass and wait for that bone because it rarely comes, and usually when it does, most AFC’s are too…well…AFC to realize that and it’s only through sheer luck that they get a girlfriend.

At this point I would like to dispel the notion that AFC’s are just bumbling fools who turn red when talking to girls, and spend all day walking around, looking down at the floor and averting eye contact with everyone. It is true that some are like that, but those are a rare breed. In fact, some AFC’s have totally awesome personalities that they’re just unable to call up in front of beautiful women. Among close friends and family they might have the most wicked sense of humor, or be the coolest guy, possess male model looks (yes, even hot guys can be AFC too!), enjoy successful careers but the notion of engaging beautiful women in romantic pursuits reduces them to mere husks of their usual selves.

More than one occasion have I born witness to guys who you would never expect to have a girlfriend, get one, and on more than one occasion have I noticed that it started to grow more and more one-sided. I’m sure many of us have these types of friends; friends who write super mushy Friendster/Myspace comments for their girlfriend or blog about “Oh I missed my darling baby today, she is my one and only! I love you baby! *muacks*” but yet those comments and sentiments are rarely reciprocated, and you cringe and can’t help but feel bad for them. Will Smith’s character in Hitch would be the perfect example (the time when he got his first girlfriend).

Not all of us were born into this world with the natural ability to pickup girls, be charming, be quick witted, be out-going, possess an excellent sense of humor, or be ruggedly handsome or rakishly good-looking. That’s the sad truth but I beg to differ. We may never develop great looks short of plastic surgery but we can learn to be entertaining, we can become well-groomed, we can become knowledgeable and interesting. Discover the path and follow my journey – welcome to The Artist Realized.

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And so, my good friend Seng Yip wrote the above article.. as a prelude to his own blog? I don’t know, anyways stay tuned if you’re interested 🙂

Turkish Rock for the win!

Damn Bodicea, you gotta stop hacking my blog! Haha just kidding 🙂

As some of you might have noticed that my blog was hacked. (Read the post below)
I thought that was pretty cool! Never happened to me before. Did you guys try going to that site? It’s some turkish rock site or something..didn’t understand a word of it. No I didn’t ‘hack’ myself for attention. I did a google on ‘Hacked by ult_raslan58 |’ and found a whole list of sites hacked by the same dude. Go ahead, and try it!

Anyways, the whole post about the car is gone, I don’t even remember what I wrote, but I’m leaving the post there as a trophy. The first ever internet attack!

Not too bad though. Raelene called me up in the afternoon to tell me about it. Win Yew called a few hours later.
I thought it was something serious- I expected a badly photoshopped picture of my face onto some gay shit, but nooo all I get was a link to some website. It’s not even a shock site. Sheesh!

If you guys notice anything else wrong with my blog, please let me know. I haven’t gotten around to inspecting the code yet to see if anything else was tampered with.

– your friendly neighborhood spider man

Sans-Capoeira/Shoe Shops/Plagiarism

Was gonna post a video of my colleagues doing a capoeira dance in the office, but for some reason it won’t transfer from my no video!

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A while ago when I was at a shoe shop waiting for Raelene, I realized that its a pretty common sight to see a guy waiting for the girl he’s with at a shoe shop. Then I thought about what a conversation with one of them would be like.
“Shoe shopping again?”
“Yeah, you bet!”
“20 pairs of shoes since we got together..and it doesn’t look like she’s stopping anytime soon!”
“Only? My chick’s getting her 30th pair today!”
“I don’t understand them”
“Me neither.”
“Hey we should hang out”
“Err..sorry, I’m not that kind of guy..”
“No you don’t get what I mean!”
“Honey! Let’s leave!”

* * * * *

Another thing I’ve noticed online- the plagiarism of blog posts. I mean seriously, why do people do it?! It’s not like they’re being graded for what they write online! People go to your blog because they wanna know how you think/feel. They don’t really give a shit if you write really bad or not, if they did, they wouldn’t be coming to your blog in the first place. If they wanted to know how you were doing, they would read it, regardless how horrible you write. Blogging isn’t a fucking competition. If you want fame, start a porn site, way faster, and nobody’s gonna accuse you of being a copy cat. Cos if you steal from other blogs and try to pass them off as your own writing, people will eventually find out, and then you will be ruined.

To everyone who’s ever been plagiarized, my hat’s off to you for writing material worth stealing 🙂

Random 2.25am announcement

Tomorrow will mark my return to the magic scene!
Ever since I started work, I never had the time to go play anymore, and so I decided that if I ever play, I’ll just join big tournaments and special events.

Tomorrow is the Nationals Qualifier (qualified people can’t play yay..) hopefully I won’t get pwned by n00bs.. haha

Will probably edit this post with a report later.

Beauty and the Beast rocks. I re-watched it this afternoon and it was frickin’ beautiful.

I am off to bed.

Stories from the toilet seat

I wrote this message on my phone while on the toilet seat at work:

Every time I take a shit at work, I think to myself “thank God that my office has nice clean toilets!”
It isn’t dirty, the seats are clean, and the soap smells good. What more could you ask for?

Like the other day, I went to the toilet in Yuen (I forgot the name of the place, its some famous steamboat buffet in Sunway), the toilet looked like this:

Man, I didn’t even dare to touch the flush handle to see if it worked. I just used the standing urinal next to it and got the hell out of there. Filthy!

Anyways, this is what my office desk looks like:

Dual LCDs and a sweet Wacom tablet 😀 Oh the fun of dragging things around 2 screens!