Bras stop bouncing breasts

I wrote this a long time ago, and recently discovered it saved on my pc, but I don’t think I’ve ever posted it up. Anyways, I thought it was a pretty good read, so here it is:

..or so I’ve heard.. or was it saggy tits?

Anyways, the other day I was at La Senza because it was a ‘super sale’ and I thought ‘I should get some bras just in case I decide to cross dress one day!’– no not really, you know how sales draw girls to shops like light draws moths to fire. Raelene wanted to buy some lingerie (why is it not pronounced lingerie anyway?!) because it was a sale (yes, girls buy stuff just cos they’re cheap even though they’re unnecessary). And she loves that shop anyway, we almost always go in all the time.

So while she was in the changing room, I was just standing next to the huge model with big boobs (are those real?) observing everybody else. There were a total of two other guys in the shop. And they were following around their shopping partners, checking out the lingerie. You know that couples all do the same things? They point at the outrageous looking lingerie (suggestive, and bordering on S&M) and they look at each other, and then they giggle. Then the guy probably says ‘Why would anyone want to wear that?!’ and the girl will laugh. And he’ll say ‘would you wear that?’ and she’ll say something along the lines of ‘only for you’ and they’ll both giggle like school kids. I know they do that. We do it too 🙂

So I was just observing people from where I stood. What goes through the mind of girl as she picks up and scrutinizes every piece of underwear? What does she think about as she runs her fingers across the texture of the bra? Or when she lifts the panties up to the light to see through the lace? What does she think about?

“Would this look sexy on me?”
“Am I getting laid tonight?”
“Does this make me look fat?”
“If I put this on, will it give me confidence?”
“Will this accentuate my curves?”
“What outfit do I have that matches this?”
“How much is it?”
“Does this scream ‘WHORE!’?”

I really don’t know. On the other hand, I couldn’t care less about my own underwear. Hell, I’m not even afraid to admit that my mom buys my boxers for me. To me they’re just a thin pair of shorts to protect my dragon (why are guys so egoistical about their penises?) from the ferocious teeth of my zipper. And to protect my pants whenever I fart. And I’m glad we don’t have to go shopping for bras :p

I guess to girls, underwear gives a whole different meaning. To them it’s probably a totally different world.

Sunday round up

So the other day I went to megamall with my oh-so-useful fashion consultant zaimee (who thinks she’s such a badass just cos she has a z in her name lol) and tried on some skinny jeans. And wow- I never thought they would be comfortable. Haha. I always pictured skinny jeans to be the epitome of uncomfortability, and when I put them on, surprisingly they weren’t! I mean, they were clinging to my legs and all, but they didn’t hamper my movement or flexibilty. And they didn’t look too bad on me either. lol

Andre claims my name is going to be Ah George soon.

I’ve watched quite a number of movies the past few weeks:

The Hulk
The Happening
Kungfu Panda
Get Smart

And I gotta say all of them are worth watching. Most of the movies I’ve seen haven’t been disappointing this year, and next month is gonna be insane.

The other day I was walking back to the office after lunch when this Indian man suddenly approached me and pointed at my shirt saying ‘do you know what that means?’ (I was wearing my TWLOHA rescue T-shirt that day) and I said ‘yes’. He went on further and asked me what, and I told him ‘rescue’ and he was like ‘how do you know?’ I pointed to the word ‘rescue’ on the side of the hindi writing. He laughed. I told him ‘have a nice day’ and walked off. That was totally weird and random.

This photograph is proof

The next time someone tells you to take down a picture of them from facebook or your blog cos they look ugly- fuck them! (no, not literally). Tell them “what do you mean? you always look like this!” And don’t take the pictures down- post more instead! I mean, think about it- there’s really no such thing as a bad picture. Sure there are badly taken pictures i.e.: a finger covering a part of the lens, an out of focus picture etc, but there are really no bad pictures. The only reason a person is ugly in a picture its because the person looked ugly in the first place!

Examples of badly taken photographs

Photographs are a direct representation of things we see! Sure you can crop photos (like what most fat girls tend to do in their online profiles and photos- you never get to see below their chests). But photographs are like reflections! Someone could take a photo of Jeon Ji Hyung or Ayon’s sister at any angle, and I can assure you they would look fantastic- because they look fantastic!

And we all know that people with accurate/fantastic memory have ‘photographic memory’.

When distance doesn’t matter.

So you know how some people tilt their phone sideways when they talk into it? Like some sort of walkie-talkie.

Why do people do that? I mean seriously, how much difference does that miniscule reduction in distance between mouth to mircrophone make? None! If they can’t hear you when you speak in the first place, then just speak up, or move to a place that gets bettere reception, change your phone or ask them to do the same.

No difference! You know why? Because phones were designed to be held to the side of your face!