People have asked me why do I want to keep my hair long? Well I figured since I have hair now I might as well keep it. When I’m 50 (if I ever reach that age lol) and balding, then it’s time for my hair to go. For now, I’ll keep it as long as I want!

What do birds think about when they shit on cars?
“Oh hey! That car looks clean! Let’s shit on it!”

Why do batteries miraculously come to life when you take them out and put them back in again? Remote not working? Take out the battery and put it back in, viola! It’s good for some more clicks.