(Circling) Parking Spots

If there’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m in a car in a parking lot – it has to be drivers who go around in circles looking for the ‘perfect spot’ to park in. You know where’s the perfect spot? Any fucking spot. Anything is better than circling a lot for 30 mins just to find some place that’s closer to the entrance because for some reason you can’t walk more than 10 meters to the mall. Seriously. It annoys me to no end. It inconveniences other people (because parking lots usually have narrow lanes that don’t allow cars to overtake) and the time you spend circling the parking lot could be used being productive.

You know what’s the best way to find a parking spot? Drive down to the lowest floor. Because many people in Malaysia seem obsessed about finding spots on the higher floor for some strange reason. A lot of the times, these people create jams inside malls looking for spots to park in. I think it’s a worse offense than parking in handicapped spots. At least those guys don’t hold up traffic for no reason. So, just go all the way down and chances are you’ll find plenty of places to park in. It’s a great tip which works in every mall except during public holidays (when you should be avoiding such places in the first place).

You park your car faster, you spend less time in it, more time doing whatever you need to do, and you can even leave the mall within 15 minutes if you’re fast enough. Also, you don’t hold up people behind you. You’ll make someone else’s day. Don’t be a dick, walk a bit, it doesn’t hurt.


I believe that traffic lights are good enough for the work they do – controlling traffic. There has never been a point in my life where I felt that the job of traffic lights could be better handled by policemen. However, every time I’m caught in traffic on a road when there’s usually no traffic – there’s always a traffic cop controlling the traffic flow. Every time it happens, I make sure to ask myself why? Or grumble to whoever is in the passenger seat that traffic cops make things worse.

Why don’t they just leave the job to traffic lights, which, if configured properly, are supposed to do the job properly? And if the lights aren’t configured properly, why not fix them? Instead of putting some poor dude in the middle of speeding cars and motorbikes? Under the hot sun. In their long sleeves, helmets and gloves? It’s stupid. No wonder they don’t make the best decisions.

Maybe traffic cops are only there because they’re being punished. And if they’re being punished, of course they’re not going to do a good job. They’ll want to fuck with everyone else on the road, since they have nothing to lose anyway. And they can gain some pleasure out of all the motorists’ frustrations. A least I know that’s what I’d do if I was being punished.

If they’re not being punished, then why do they do such a bad job of controlling traffic? Maybe it’s just me generalizing my experiences with traffic cops and I’m being unfair to the good ones who are actually making things better.

What about cops or ambulance drivers who use their sirens to skip traffic jams? Are they considered assholes too? Because every time there’s a shitty jam, there’s bound to be these guys around. And if they’re skipping traffic, why do I always read about them showing up late at emergencies? I can’t recall the last time I heard a siren when traffic was good. Everyone should just ride bicycles instead. Then we’d have no jams, we’d save the environment, and everybody would be fitter.

Of Wasted Food And Hungry People

When I was younger, I was constantly reminded by my mom to finish all the food on my plate. I was told to never leave a single grain of rice. I remember being told that if I didn’t finish my rice, my future wife would have tons of pimples on her face (corresponding to the number of rice grains I didn’t finish). Now, I don’t remember if I believed her when I was a kid, but I did it anyway. It didn’t matter how much food was on my plate – I always made sure it was clean by the end of my meal.
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Down with the sickness

It’s been awhile since I last fell sick, and even longer since I blogged about it. I guess it’s kinda pointless to write about being sick anyway. There’s not much to say. I’m on meds, not really in the mood to write, but fuck it. Just write anyway because I haven’t hit 5 posts this week.

If there’s one thing that sucks about being sick, it’s probably having to run to the toilet every 15 minutes or so because you can’t contain the shit (heh) inside. Anyway, I’m on drugs for my fever, cough, flu and sore throat. On a side note, why isn’t flu spelled as ‘flue’? I seem to automatically type flue on the keyboard for no reason.
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Dog Years

Having a dog is amazing. Dogs never fail to make you smile. No matter how disobedient they can be, how much of your shit they bite or ruin – all they need to do is look you in the eyes or give you a lick and whatever they did is forgotten. At least that’s how I feel. I’ve spent less than a year having Snuggles living with me and I already think of how much I’m going to miss her when I leave Malaysia (something I hope to do as soon as possible).
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It’s that time of the year again.

As I sit here in front of my computer, fresh out of the shower, clean shaven, smelling like Team Force, and I’ve just finished packing my bag. I realize it’s that time of the year again. The end of the year. Where you sit down, spend some time reflecting on the past year and think about what you’re going to do for the next one. The last time I did this was approximately 6 months ago. Where I said it was time for a new season in my life. And looks like I did.

First off I’d like to apologize for the lack of blog posts. When your current job requires you to write 30 blog posts a day, I’m sure you can understand what I mean when I tell you after I’m done with my daily quota, the last thing I wanna do is sit down in front of the computer and write another post. Especially when you finish at 10am in the morning. Yeah, I know, my work starts at 5pm and is supposed to end at 2am, but I’ve been struggling to hit the quota on time so I have spend a lot of time catching up. It’s been affecting me, but I’ve been dealing with it and I’m doing my best to improve. The day where I end on the dot will come soon. Next step would be finishing before 8 hours. But let’s take it a step at a time, baby steps.

Other than my job, and the fact that I resumed playing WoW (yes, goddamn it is fun), and I still gig occasionally. Throughout the whole year, I’ve managed to play a show at least once a month, sometimes even two or three! This month alone I’ve got two- one just passed last week, and I got one more on the 26th, which I will announce next week. I’ve got the band together, and we’re working on our third song. Being in a band is great, I love it. I love you guys. Jason, Andrew, Syefri, and yes you too Alvin. I know we haven’t done much, but I have a good feeling about The Wishing, let’s make it happen 😀

Oh I’ve been too busy with my job to catch up on my movie reviews, and since all the movies are already out, I’ll just give quick summaries of the movies I’ve seen lately:
Skyline – 6/10 – Not terrible, but not very good either. Feels like it could lead up to a video game at the end.
The Social Network – 7/10 – I kinda expected more after all the hype it got and it was a David Fincher movie (Fight Club, Se7en, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), but at the same time I didn’t know what to expect since I know nothing about Mark Zuckerberg’s life. Nevertheless it is entertaining, and you discover how Facebook was invented
Due Date – 9/10 – Seriously, if this movie doesn’t tickle your funny bone, you’re either paralyzed and unable to laugh or you’re dead/in a coma. This movie is fucking side-splitting. I guarantee it. One of the best movies I’ve seen all year.
Rapunzel – 9/10 – I don’t know about you guys, but I think Disney hit the nail on the head with this one. It looks like they haven’t lost their magic, and to me, they’ve managed to recreate the classic 2D animation in 3D. The story, the gags, the characters, oh the characters– Rapunzel is a goddess. I fell in love with her the moment she appeared on screen (not as a baby, haha gotcha) and the way she acted– alright I’ll stop here, go watch it for yourself. Again, one of the best movies I’ve seen all year.
Narnia – 5/10 – Meh. Better than the first one in my opinion, I didn’t watch the second one.
Scott Pilgrim vs the World – 6/10 – I didn’t catch this in the cinema (they didn’t show it here) but boy I was let down. After hearing a couple of my friends rave about how much better it was than Inception, I finally sat down to give it a shot. Nope. Nowhere close. I’m a fan of cartoony live-action movies, but Scott Pilgrim was just cheese to the max. Knives is cute as hell though. I think she’s gonna grow up beautifully.

And there must have been one more movie that I missed, but I’ll put it down when I remember. Oh and I still haven’t seen Harry Potter. I should catch it before they take it off the big screens. And my favorite movie this year: Inception – hands down. No other movie even comes close to touching it. Best movie in the world. Ever. I shall quote Ferhan on this, “Inception is better than real life.” Runner ups: Due Date, Rapunzel, The Other Guys.

In terms of music, album of the year so far: Kids In Glass Houses – Dirt. Every song is fantastic, this album is amazing. I can listen to it from start to finish nonstop, throughout the whole day. KIGH really outdone themselves with their latest release. I wonder how they’re gonna release a follow up to such a masterpiece. Worst news of the year – My Favorite Highway breaking up. They’re playing their final show this month, and it’s really sad to see them go. I wish I could’ve seen them live. Ah well, at least I still have their music to listen to. The beauty of recordings. And Four Year Strong are coming down to Singapore next year, hopefully it’s confirmed and there are no last minute cancellations. I’ll be there for sure.

What else has been happening in my life? Oh yeah, her. I had a girlfriend for a month, but things didn’t work out (Iwasn’ttherightguyforher) so we ended things before they got ugly. It was a great experience, we still talk, I still think she’s amazing, but it shall stop at there because I have a feeling that we’re gonna be the best of friends. I don’t know why, but I can just feel it. Thanks for the 6-month long rollercoaster ride that ended in a wave pool. It was one hell of a theme park, let’s not go there again. But it was all worth it. And don’t be surprised if you find yourself being the topic of future songs, I only write what I feel, and it’s bound to pop up somewhere, sometime. Thanks for everything, Jasmine. Here’s to the foundation of a great friendship.

I’m sitting in front of the computer, still clean shaven and smelling like Team Force, waiting for Hijjas to pick me up. My bags are packed and I’m ready to go. Mothers in Singapore, it’s time to hide your daughters.

My age.

Not that I give a shit about my age (maybe I will in 5 years time, or when they finally let me into 21/Velvet lol), but it annoys me when people try to correct me when I tell them my age. Let’s get some facts straight. A year is 365 days long (365 and 1/4 days if you want to be anal). You turn a year older 365 days after your birthday. It doesn’t matter what year you are born in, the same rule applies to all birthdays.

So when I tell people that I am 24 now, they all assume I was born in 1986. When I tell them I was born in 1985, they say ‘then you must be 25 now!’

Just because I am 25 this year (in December), it does not mean that I am 25 now. Yeah I will be 25 later this year, but as of now I am not! If my age increased just because the year changed, I would only be 24 for 14 days. Which is stupid.

Oh wow, I have indirectly written about my birthday. I’m expecting a shit load of presents now, considering I get 100 hits a day on this blog. LOL.

Plastic Bags/Girls.

Have you ever wondered why a lot of plastic bags are pink/red/orange? You know, those thin bags that can be easily poked through with a finger. They come in the most horrible colors. Especially those you get from most mini marts or when you take away food from mamaks or hawker stalls.

Do you ever wonder what goes through the plastic bag manufacturer’s mind when they make these bags? “Yes, these bags are gonna look awesome in shitty pink!” I mean what color are the bags naturally? (oh the irony) I’m assuming they are clear. So do they dye those bags? I mean how do they get those colors onto the bags?

Then what about clear bags? Are they cheaper or more expensive to make? And why do clear bags seem to be stronger than colored bags most of the time? Does coloring the bag weaken the plastic? Does it matter? No. But I’ve always thought about these sorts of things. Is there a reason to everything?

Why do girls move on so easily? Is it because they don’t care as much? Why do they find it easier to let go? Do they frame their minds to perceive that guys are assholes who deserve what they get no matter what happened? Because no matter how hard I try, I can call a girl a bitch, and try to mean it but I’ll never feel that way. Like I know that it’s a lie (even though it may be true) that I can’t believe. Are girls naturally designed to move on without a second thought?

Is forever just a seven letter word?

Blurry Bush and Mosaic Cocks.

So, I never really understood the concept of censoring porn. What is the point of it? Does it make it any less explicit than it already is? Do they get to sell porn at a G rating if it is censored? Why do they blur out the actor’s privates (or publics in this case) when we know what is really going on! They’re not erasing it (which would make a hell of a comedy if they did) so we still see the mosaic-fied penis or vagina. Just that it’s not as clear as the actor’s faces.

Come on, we all know she’s not gonna be mistaken for doing anything else other than sucking a dick when her head is in between the legs of a guy and her head is going in a back and forth motion, mouth open wide, one hand on her tit (which they surprisingly don’t bother censoring) and while all this is going on the dude is grunting or giving words of encouragement. What else could she be doing? Brushing her teeth? (I’m talking about the regular brushing of the teeth, not with that sort of toothpaste mind you).

Or how about when the girl is on the bed on her knees and the guy is pounding away at her from behind. And they show a close up shot. A frickin’ close up shot. With their privates censored. It’s like looking at tiles on the floor and listening to the sounds of people having sex. For chrissakes! We know he’s not telling her a bedtime story or helping her with her to tie her shoes.

If anything needs censoring– wait, nothing needs censoring. People choose to watch porn! It’s not like they’re forced into downloading a 750mb video and made to sit through the whole thing. In fact movies in our cinemas don’t need censoring either. Why the hell do we have ratings when everything is cut up anyway? If kids are watching movies they shouldn’t be watching, blame the parents! Why make the adults who are allowed to enjoy such things suffer the consequences?