I’m okay

Just in case you guys heard about the whole BA landslide thing and wondered if I died, I’m still alive and kicking *awww*

It started off with a crazy Friday night where I drank till I time travelled to Saturday morning. Got out of bed, packed my shit and trekked through some jungle to get out of the god-forsaken hill.

Anyways, to cut the story short, I won’t be home for the next few days (possibly weeks if they don’t clear the road by then). In the mean time I’ll sneak online once in awhile in between dota games at cafes and facebook from my phone. lol

Bolt is awesome. Go watch it! You don’t really have to watch it in 3D to enjoy it, there isn’t much difference between both versions. The value of the show is in the storyline and jokes. And of course not forgetting the amazing animation. Horton, Bolt and Madagascar, all top contenders for animated movie of the year in my list. Speaking of lists, I should come up with a top ten list for the end of the year and some new year’s resolutions. Maybe next year will be the year I accomplish them :p

Why people don’t hold the poles in trains.

So this post was supposed to be accompanied by a drawing of an old lady with sagging tits sandwiching the metal pole, but I couldn’t come up with anything as tasteful as circus granny (lol)

Anyway, I just had a thought about why some people don’t hold onto the pole on the trains- maybe they’re afraid of the things the pole has come into contact with before. Then I started thinking about what could touch those poles, and instantly the idea of a grandma came to my head. I swear, I don’t know why. Haha

How about the butt cheeks of some over sized person or just someone with dirty hands?

Cleanest part of the LRT to hold on to? Probably the ceiling of the train. Though not everybody is tall enough to reach it comfortably.

Okay this post was a pointless introduction to the promotion of my next performance:

Doppelganger 23rd November 2008
8.30-12am
RM20 per entry (you get one drink)
Marketplace KL

Main acts:
– Mei Chern
– Markiza & Peter Hassan Brown
– Benchmarx
– Jasmine Low

click here for the official flyer

I’ll playing the open mic spot 😀 so come and watch!

Smart Phones

So the other day I was thinking to myself. Hell, I’m always thinking to myself when I’m driving in the car and I’m stuck in a traffic jam.

But anyways, the reason I was stuck in the jam was cos my touch n go card was out of credit. Normally I’d be cruising past tolls on the smart TAG lane.

So I’ve thought to myself before- why doesn’t everyone invest in a smart TAG gadget? Yes it is pricey, but for the amount of money (from burning fuel when your car is idling in the jam) and time you save with it, it is worth every sen! Coming from a smart TAG user, you don’t know how many times I’ve said ‘boy am I glad I have smart TAG!’ the ridiculous amount of traffic you can beat is incredible. Think of it as a long term investment. No, this isn’t an advertorial. (LOL)

Anyways, smart TAG wasn’t supposed to be the main topic of my post, the main point of my post was supposed to be this note I saved on my phone:

“Phones should act as smart tags”.

See, when you’re stuck in the jam, you think of all these strange things. I was thinking about how to solve the problem of traffic jams at tolls. And I came up with 2 answers- abolish all tolls (obviously unreasonable lol) or make smart TAG free. So everybody would be using it and there wouldn’t be anymore toll traffic. But then again, it would be hard to make all these lazy people get off their asses to collect their free gadgets, so why not make phones have the capabilities to act as smart TAGs?

People would enable blue tooth or something on their phone, and when they drive by the toll, the fare would just be deducted from their credit or added to their phone bill! Haha, maybe it isn’t technically possible at this point in time, but I’m sure as technology develops, such an idea becomes viable.

Minister of transportation? Fo sho! lol

Cabs of the future.

So the other day I got in a cab, and realized that the cab in front of me was going to the same place as well. Then I thought to myself- wasn’t that a huge waste of petrol and money? If only I knew the person in front, we could have shared the cab, the costs, and the cab driver would’ve saved petrol, and hence saved the environment.

But because we were strangers, we didn’t get on the same cab.

So in the car I started thinking to myself about cabs in the future. Maybe in the future, there would be a sign on top of the cab that displays its destination, via which route, and how many more passengers it can carry. And people who were going to the same place can flag the cab down and join the ride. The meter would calculate when the second person got on and split the remainder of the distance with the new guy and so on.

This would solve problems with not enough taxis going around, encourage carpooling, and who knows, even create relationships between strangers!

Anybody wanna vote me into parliament for ministry of transport?
Fuck me, I’m just babbling lol.

20 sen entertainment

So the other day, I was on the LRT and I dropped 20 sens when I opened my wallet. The coin rolled under the legs of a lady in a skirt (she didn’t notice) and it would’ve been pretty rude of me to get down on my knees and grab the coin from under her. So I decided to wait til she got off the train before I retrieved the coin (I was gonna get off at Kelana Jaya, so she was definitely leaving before me).

Anyway, when the lady left the train, this old lady took her place. So I had to wait again. This time after a few stops, the old lady noticed that there was a coin on the floor, and she eyed it for a few stops. Just before she got off, she looked around to make sure nobody was watching, then she bent down, picked it up, put it in her purse and walked out.

I was contemplating on calling her out and saying that it was mine and embarrassing her, but I decided to make her happy instead. Maybe she might have felt lucky for the rest of the day cos she found a ‘lucky coin’. It would’ve affected her mood and how she dealt with problems and other people, and it was all cos of the 20sen coin. A small price to pay to make someone happy for the whole day.

Motorbikes (are the ultimate gay machine)

The other day I was thinking to myself, if I ever sat on the back of my buddy’s bike while he was driving, I would get a hard on just to fuck around with him. I’d think about sex and naked girls and he would be like “hey! what the fuck is that pressing against my ass?”

And then I’d whisper gay shit into his ears and put my arms around his waist real tight.

When we ride on a smooth highway, I would rock back and forth as if we were on a bumpy road instead. And he would feel my boner in his rear.

At traffic lights, I’ll make sure that other people are looking while I massage his nipples and slide my hands down to his thighs and moan out loud ‘Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh…’

When cops stop us, I’ll tell them that he’s my boyfriend.

I can’t believe I came up with all that while I was bored in the car. Traffic jams bring out the creativity in people 😀

Speaking of motorbikes, I think that their helmets are so not sexy. Is it possible to kiss when two people have motorbike helmets on? I’m talking about those safety full face covering helmets, not those skull caps. Maybe if both of them had long tongues. That’s some food for thought.

Sunday round up

So the other day I went to megamall with my oh-so-useful fashion consultant zaimee (who thinks she’s such a badass just cos she has a z in her name lol) and tried on some skinny jeans. And wow- I never thought they would be comfortable. Haha. I always pictured skinny jeans to be the epitome of uncomfortability, and when I put them on, surprisingly they weren’t! I mean, they were clinging to my legs and all, but they didn’t hamper my movement or flexibilty. And they didn’t look too bad on me either. lol

Andre claims my name is going to be Ah George soon.

I’ve watched quite a number of movies the past few weeks:

The Hulk
The Happening
Kungfu Panda
Get Smart

And I gotta say all of them are worth watching. Most of the movies I’ve seen haven’t been disappointing this year, and next month is gonna be insane.

The other day I was walking back to the office after lunch when this Indian man suddenly approached me and pointed at my shirt saying ‘do you know what that means?’ (I was wearing my TWLOHA rescue T-shirt that day) and I said ‘yes’. He went on further and asked me what, and I told him ‘rescue’ and he was like ‘how do you know?’ I pointed to the word ‘rescue’ on the side of the hindi writing. He laughed. I told him ‘have a nice day’ and walked off. That was totally weird and random.

Petrol Blues

I noticed this post is about 1hour 24mins too late, but when I saved it on my phone it was before 12, so let’s pretend that you were reading it on the 5th of June.

You know what would be funny- they don’t raise the prices tomorrow!
What about the people who are filling petrol halfway- at the stroke of midnight- would the price change during mid-fill?
I think people burn so much fuel driving to the station, they don’t save any money at all

Okay, this post is pretty lame. And so are the jams caused by the kiasu people lining up for petrol. Good thing I haven’t been too dependant on my car lately, or I would be feeling a much more painful pinch :p

I’m supposed to be the very best at what I do.

So it’s that time of the year again. Well not really. It happens more often than not.
Clearing out the saved messages on my phone!

It’s been awhile since I’ve done this and my phone is clogging up. So here we go:

“Kinky prostitutes come over for great sex”

The other day when I wrote this, I guess I must have been thinking about high school. When Ian came up with this mnemonic for remembering how to sort out living things in bio. In case you don’t know/remember, it goes:

Kingdom | Kinky
Phylum | Prostitutes
Class | Come
Order | Over
Family | For
Genus | Great
Species | Sex

Good to know that I haven’t forgotten it yet!

“People who piss me off- waiters who are too damn cocky or lazy to write orders down. Or serve you the wrong food despite confirming your order with you.”

So I’m sure everyone’s experienced this before. I mean seriously, if you’re having trouble remembering things, write them down! It takes 2 seconds and saves all the trouble you go through later! I don’t know what’s wrong with these people. It’s not illegal to carry pen and paper in a restaurant! And it’s better to admit you have bad memory by jotting stuff down instead of pretending you got everything when actually you don’t.

“Man spits into helmet face guard”

Its just something funny I thought of. Imagine a motorcyclist spits out phlegm onto his face guard instead, cos its so clean he doesn’t realize it’s there. haha

“Why don’t bad guys fight among side their hench men?”

Ever watch a movie where a bad guy sends his whole army after the hero, only to see them almost killing the good guy, but not quite, then get decimated? Then the bad guy is left all alone with the hero. Again, the bad guy almost, just almost kills the hero. But he fails, and gets his ass kicked. Now imagine this- instead of just sending his goons, why doesn’t the bad guy join the fight in the first place? He’s gonna end up fighting the hero eventually, so he might as well join in when he has advantage and a higher chance of winning! (Hollywood) movies are flawed!

“I was so afraid to wake up cos I dreamt there was a roach in my room and didn’t want it to be true. Car spoiler stolen!”

That was one bizarre dream I had with 2 separate incidents. No explanation needed I guess. Unless you didn’t know I have a fear of roaches. Well, you do now!

“What drives you mad- keep on pissing someone off till they kill someone”

Haha. I think it’s an idea for a story of some sort. Kinda twisted if you ask me. Too much for my taste :p

“This evening when I was sitting by the stairs near the klcc fountain I overheard 2 men on my left talking about malaysia- ‘they can’t even manage a bus company and they want to send a man off to space’ haha!”

One of the best lines I’ve heard whilst eaves dropping.

* * * * *

Oh and my performance on Sunday was alright. I was the first open mic on stage and nervous as hell! Did alright with ‘Car Crash Hearts..’ but screwed up the ‘myspace’ song. It was a fun night nevertheless 🙂 Thanks to my roadie Jason for being the only one showing up. LOL

Looking forward to the next gig!

Digging through your hard disk yields hidden treasures

So I was cleaning up my hard disk and came across this video. I had no idea I even had it, and well here it is:

Win Yew and George singing Saosin’s I Can Tell.. in the key of off-key major. lol

This was taken on the way to college about a year ago if I remember correctly.

Oh, and the trailer for the cartoon I’ve been working on in Inspidea is finally up! Check it out!
Goddamn I’m proud of it! Can’t wait till its out and hopefully there’s kick-ass merch for me to collect. Combo Ninos uniform, anybody? or Ninos plushies? 😛