The Only Conversion a Dying Person Needs is Respiration

I was listening to the latest episode of the Break It Down podcast today and they brought up the topic of dying happy. There was some interesting points raised during the discussion, including extending someone’s life against their own will. What if a person who is hospitalized would rather die than be treated? Who would it be the person in charge of making the decision? According to the guest, doctors usually go with the conservative route – meaning if somebody wants the life of the patient extended, they will comply. After all, they say things like: he’s too old, he can’t think properly, of course he wants to die.

But how can you tell if someone is saying what they truly mean? Do you hook them up to a lie detector? Some people have lived enough and are ready to leave the world. Do we deny them their wishes? What a tough position to be in. I don’t envy doctors. But if it’s against the law to not do everything in your power to save a life, why aren’t people left hooked up to machines forever? After all, there is a chance in a billion that their bodies will miraculously recover due to sheer willpower to live. Can you still call it living if you’re forever tethered to your bed or a drip machine?

Speaking of people who are dying, do we take advantage of them and convert them to our religion when they’ve lived their whole life following a different one? What makes it okay to do so? Are all their past sins (praying to idols and various other activities) suddenly forgiven? To be honest, it’s happened recently to some of my family members and I find the act despicable. What gives you the right to convert someone to your religion just because you follow it? Fuck that shit. If someone wants to live differently from you, let them.

What is the point of converting someone to your religion when he/she doesn’t have enough time alive to contribute anything meaningful to your cause? Does it even matter at that point? Why does this god want the souls of everybody? Sounds the plan of some sick, twisted villain. If everything was according to ‘God’ then I guess it was supposed to happen that way. You can’t fight destiny right? Oh wait, I thought humans had free will. So what does ‘God’s plan’ really mean? Nothing?

You know, when people can’t be saved by medicine, they say – it’s part of His plan. So why even bother praying? Why even bother checking them into the hospital? If they were going to survive they would regardless of what they did right? Using religion to cope with problems is one thing, but using it as a convenient excuse just unravels the whole farce that is essentially a legalized cult.

I used to be a believer. I would even consider myself devout at some point in my life. Initially when I left Christianity, I was apathetic to the whole situation. It didn’t bother me and I left it at that. It’s been over a decade since I stepped foot into a church to worship, but I find myself filled with contempt instead of indifference. It’s like God has turned me into this hate-filled meatbag to go against his word. Wait, does his master plan still apply to my life once I’ve dismissed his religion? If I don’t believe it, does it make it false?

I believe that religion was created during simpler times when there were no proper laws in place to govern the behavior of people. Now that we’ve evolved and progressed as a race, there’s really no need for such things anymore. Sure, keep it around if it helps you get through with your life, but don’t shove it down the throats of people despite what your god tells you to. Or do. I don’t care. You’re just wasting your time, go be productive instead.

Talking to Strangers

A few weekends ago, I was tasked with approaching some strangers in a mall to get some answers for a survey. While it may seem like nothing to most people, I didn’t find it very easy to do. Fortunately, I wasn’t alone and had my colleague’s help to carry it out. While I had to work up the nerve the approach strangers to ask them the questions, she went in like a pro, approaching crowds left and right with no hesitation. It was interesting watching the immense skill gap between the both of us.
I’m not physically incapable of talking to strangers, but I’m the kind of guy who dislikes being approached by strangers in public. Be it to sell me shit, talk about religion or beg for donations – I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve thought to myself, “I’m glad they came to me!” whenever it happens. For me to put myself in those shoes was immensely difficult.
I’ve had jobs approaching strangers before – but that was as a promoter in a supermarket. Having a product to push and being in a controlled environment made it much easier. It also helped that people would be curious about the stand I was in front of. All I had with me in the mall was a notebook, pen and company name tag.
Anyway, not much to say about that experience except that it was eye-opening for me. I guess we’re all proficient at different things in life, and I’m the kind of guy who’s more comfortable behind the scenes instead of out talking to people on the streets. But it’s a skill I’ll pick up one day, as it’s more beneficial to have than not.

The Mysterious Stranger

It was somebody’s birthday party, I was outside by myself having a smoke. Out of nowhere, this guy sits down next to me and we start having a conversation. He was a lanky Asian dude in a Na’Vi hoodie, which was strange because it’s been a long time since I’ve seen anybody rock those bumblebee colors. But he seemed friendly enough and we had a nice conversation, with Dota being the icebreaker. Eventually the guy tells me his plight. He didn’t have a place to stay for the night and needed somewhere to rest. For some strange reason, I agreed to let him stay over at my place. I mean, nothing wrong with helping out a fellow Na’Vi fan right?
Fast forward until the end of the night and we’re back at my place. Upon entering my room, he immediately sat down in front of my computer and turned it on. I’m not sure what he was doing on it, but he seemed very comfortable, knowing all my shortcuts and how to navigate around my system. I didn’t question him since it was pretty late and I was ready to sleep, so I left him in my room while I went to the toilet.
While taking a shit, a thought crossed my mind – what if this guy was stealing all my passwords? Or planting some trojans on my computer? That worried me a bit, so I quickly finished my shit, cleaned up and went back to my room. When I stepped in, I saw my computer was still on, but the guy was nowhere to be found. He had vanished. I didn’t even hear the door open or close. I thought to myself, “fuck! He’s probably taken what he wanted.”
The dream ended after that.

It’s great being an adult

Today, a thought crossed my mind while I was having dinner and I saw a kid a few tables away having his meal with his family. He was the only child seated there, the rest of them were old-ass people chatting and eating. It’s great being an adult.

Sure, these days it’s not too bad being a kid – everyone has got their own tablets and smartphones to keep themselves occupied during a boring dinner. But I remember when I was young, the countless times I had to follow my family out because I was too young to be left at home by myself.

I’d sit down with the aunts and uncles, bored out of my mind, waiting for the adults to finish talking so I could go home to watch my favorite TV shows, read a book or play some video games.

Now that I’m old enough, I’m able to decline invitations to dinners I don’t want to attend. If I do attend them, I can occasionally speak to adults or other people closer to my age. I can order a drink and enjoy some alcohol. I can pull out my phone to browse reddit, play games or watch videos on YouTube. When I feel like it, I can just walk out for a smoke. Assuming I drove to the venue by myself, I can make an early exit to do whatever I want. There’s really no expectation for me to be present (barring important occasions). Everyone’s an adult now – they know I have shit to do with my time as well (these days it’s leveling up my Battle Pass kek).

I don’t miss being that kid who didn’t have a say in his parents’ social engagements. Being old does come with benefits. Now when I think of it, who wants to be young again? I mean, sure – nobody likes looking like an old fuck, but if you are an old fuck then what’s wrong with looking like one? I think I look my age these days, and I’m cool with that.

It’s great being an adult.

Call me in the morning, tell me how last night went

I first discovered Post Malone when he was mentioned on a H3H3 video a while ago. At that time I had no idea who he was and he looked like a chill guy so I thought I’d check him out on YouTube. Based on his appearance, his music was definitely not what I was expecting. He had the look of an aggressive gangsta rapper or a metalcore band’s frontman (he wanted to play guitar for Crown The Empire in the past). Turns out, he had some of the chillest soundcloud raps on the internet.

I wasn’t blown away initially, but his music slowly grew on me and I found myself singing along to his catchy choruses and imitating the background noises in his songs (skrrt pop yuh ey). Like a lot of music I discovered randomly, it was something I never knew I would like. I think 2003 George would have rejected this music outright. While he writes songs about money and bitches and sings with autotune, he does it well enough to stand out from the crowd. The fact that he has such a soothing voice complemented by a laid back vibe and clever lyrics (how can I make sense when I’ve got millions on my mind?) puts this guy up there as one of my all-time favorite singers.

I’m genuinely surprised he’s not huge globally (or maybe he is and I’m just unaware). His explicit lyrics might possibly stop him from being a mainstream wonder in this side of the world. He recently released his sophomore album which also took awhile to grow on me (I love it now) that has some of his best work IMO. Here’s a bunch of my favorite Post Malone tracks:


Post Malone ft. Quavo – Congratulations


Post Malone – White Iverson


Post Malone – Go Flex


Post Malone – Leave


Post Malone ft. 2 Chainz – Money Made Me Do It


Post Malone – Patient


Post Malone ft. Khelani – Feel


Post Malone ft. 21 Savage – Rockstar


Post Malone – Better Now


Post Malone – Stay


Post Malone – Candy Paint

Mobile Hotspots are Underrated

If there’s one thing that people don’t use enough of these days, it’s turning their phones into mobile hotspots. Gone are the days where if you visit a cafe and it has no WiFi, you can’t do your work there. All you have to do is turn on the hotspot feature on your phone and you’re good to go. Unless you have a terribly limited data plan (which most people don’t have these days), using your phone to tether your laptop/tablet to is something you should do – unless you have terrible reception on your phone.

Benefits? You get to use 4G speed, which is better than the WiFi you get from a lot of places in KL. Especially when a cafe/restaurant is busy and full of other people leeching it as well. Better security – while most WiFi networks are usually pretty secure these days (gone are those days of Firesheep), it just feels better knowing that you have traffic going through your own cellphone instead of through a router that the public is accessing. You can use it anywhere and anytime you want. You’re no longer bound to venues and their opening hours. Sit in your car or on a park bench somewhere to work if you feel like it.

Sure, on some phones it might affect the speed of your battery drain, but if you have a decent phone (something that most people already do these days), it shouldn’t be much of an issue. You can always use powerbanks or charge your device with your laptop or a power outlet.

Also, if you don’t use up that phone data, what else are you going to use it for? At least in my experience where I have WiFi at home and in the office, my data goes underutilized on most months and I end up spam watching HD YouTube videos before my data renewal date just to feel like I got my money’s worth. In case you’re not sure about how to turn your phone into a hotspot (there are a thousand different phones out there so I can’t give you a guide here) you can do a simple Google search to find out. It usually falls under Settings > WiFi > Hotspot/Tether on Android phones.

Now go out there and enjoy your freedom enabled by your mobile devices! (though some people may say the ability to work anywhere is a curse, and not a blessing)

Three Men at a Bar

“My younger brother killed himself yesterday,” said Jim as he put down his glass. Everybody fell silent – even the background music seemed to go quieter by itself. “I told him to kill himself and you know what? That son of a bitch did it. Kids these days, spending too much time in front of the computer. They don’t know what’s good for ‘em.”

Ray’s eyes widened in surprise. “No fucking way.”

“What? You know something about my brother’s death?”

“What was his name?”

“Johnny. Or Jon the Slayer, as he liked to refer to himself when he was caught up in his games.”

“My ex killed himself yesterday, and I’ve been devastated. I couldn’t pay him a visit. He told me his family was homophobic. I-” Ray broke down and started to cry. “I regretted not trying hard enough to make it work.”

“The fuck? You were dating my brother? You fucking fag!” Jim stood up, his fist raised and ready to strike.

“Now I know why he didn’t want to come out.” Ray retorted.

“My brother was not gay!”

“Stop it!” said Leonard as he stepped in between the two men. “Your brother just passed, and you’re acting like an animal in public,” he told Jim.

“It was all his fault!” yelled Jim. “If it wasn’t for this piece of shit over here, my brother probably wouldn’t be so much of a coward!”

“Hey! It wasn’t my fault that your brother loved sucking dicks. He was born that way – I didn’t make him choose his sexual preference!” snapped Ray.

“Just shut the fuck up and sit down, both of you!” interjected Leonard. He had to act fast before the previously-amicable-turned-sour conversation devolved into an all out brawl.

Jim and Ray didn’t respond. Ray was also now on his feet, staring Jim down. As if beckoning him to throw a punch.

Now the music in the bar had stopped and all eyes were on the trio.

“Are you guys going to behave properly or should I call the authorities?” the bartender’s voice boomed from across the room.

“We’re fine over here,” said Leonard as he nudged the two angry men back into their seats.

A few seconds passed and the music and chatter among the other patrons in the bar gradually resumed. It was as though everything was back to normal.

Ray and Jimmy were still fuming at each other while seated.

“Look, Jim and Ray – neither of you are to blame for what happened. You guys met tonight – there’s no need for bloodshed. Honestly, Jim, you should have told me you weren’t up for a blind date after such a tragic occasion. It would have been better if you stayed home.”

“This was the blind date?” exclaimed Jim.

“Yes, I told you that I was going to help you take your mind off things.”

“I thought we were just going for drinks!”

“And you decided to set me up with the extremely homophobic homosexual brother of my dead ex!” confronted Ray.

“How was I to know that you dated his brother?” replied Leonard. “If only you were more open with your past!”

Leonard got up from his seat.

“I’m going out for a smoke, and when I get back, I want to see you guys laughing and hanging out like best friends. Like you’ve known each other your whole lives,” he said. They remained silent as he walked out of the bar.

He stepped out into the cold night, lit up a cigarette and peered through the glass. He could now see that Jim and Ray were warming up to each other again and had started talking. Based on their body language, things were going well. It wasn’t long until they were holding hands and falling into each other’s eyes lovingly.

He smiled to himself. I guess I’m done after all. He pulled out a voice recorder and started speaking into it.

“Leonard two-three-one-seven reporting. Experiment one thousand and sixty-seven has been a failure. Despite all the different methods I’ve employed, it appears that it’s impossible to stop love from taking place. It is powerful enough to transcend both space and time. I’ve enjoyed myself in this timeline, but it’s time to go. If there’s another way to stop the relationship from happening, I haven’t found it yet. My life’s work has been ruined – all gone down the train.”

He sighed as he put the tape recorder back in his pocket. A few seconds later, his watched beep. “Message Received” was the prompt that flashed on its tiny display. He felt a tiny explosion go off in his head and his world was enveloped in darkness.


Writing Prompt from Reddit: Three guys start chatting in a bar during the lowest moment of their lives. As they exchange their life stories, they realize that they are all connected, and responsible for eachother’s misery.

Back to the Diary

I think I may have writer’s block. I’ve been trying to write something substantial over the past few days but I haven’t been very successful. Even word vomiting hasn’t really been helping. I haven’t been able to come up with topics to write on my blog. Have I finally run out of things to say? No. That isn’t true. I’ll always have something to say as long as I’m alive. It’s just that I haven’t been able to write about things worth writing about (as though toilet thoughts was something that needed to be published).

I guess in the meantime I’ll just post some diary-like entries. Those are the easiest to churn out without having to use much of my brain. What have I been up to? Well, there have been a lot of Dota 2 tournaments over the past few months (another tournament just started last week) and I’ve been following them. I used to think that every time I tuned into a Na’Vi match, I’d watch them lose and it was my fault. But they’ve been winning the past two nights so that’s not true anymore. It’s good to see the team back on form after a rough day 1 at Epicenter XL. Hopefully they keep it up for the remaining days.

I haven’t touched any other game besides Dota 2 on my PC for a while now. In the past, I’d dick around in single player games while waiting for my friends to come online to play. Nowadays I just browse reddit until it’s time to party up. It’s seriously the only game that keeps on giving. Even after all these years. There’s always something new to learn.

Speaking of learning, I really enjoy checking out links from Hacker News. Every time I visit that site I find an interesting article that teaches me something new. Like today, I learned about pun competitions. Then I thought about it and realized – I’m so bad at coming up with puns. It’s not an easy thing to do. Puns also tread the fine line between clever and lame. They’re also very polarizing, it’s not something that everybody appreciates. Anyway, I just thought I’d share a pun a friend came up with a while ago:

probably only funny to people who know Ken Jae and his love for Hai Di Lao hotpot

Today Vanessa told me that her dog passed away. RIP Jasper. I didn’t get to know him well before he went to doggo heaven, but I’m sure he’s having fun with all the bitches up there.

I bought Vegas (a video editing software) for cheap the other day. Might study some tutorials and learn how to come up with my own video edits. Stay tuned for that.

Toilet Thoughts

One thing I’ve noticed while waiting for my turn in public toilets is that there are dudes who stare at other people’s dicks while pissing. I’m not sure why they do it, but they do. I’m not sure if it’s wrong but I think not everybody is comfortable with their dongs being stared at.


Why do people use the water from the urinals to wash their hands? I first noticed this when I was in Indonesia – I know the water that flows out from the pipe is technically clean, but why not just use the sink that’s available? It baffles my mind why people would do such things.


The other day, I completely forgot to flush the toilet bowl because I was in a rush. I didn’t get to see the reaction of the dude who walked into the stall after me but I only realized it while I was washing my hands. I hope he wasn’t too mad. I’m glad I have auto-flushing toilets at work so I never have to worry about forgetting.


Why do people have conversations on their phones in public toilets while taking shits? Don’t they care about the sounds that will be picked up over the microphone? On another note, why do people stand around having conversations in the toilet? Why not take a few steps outside so you don’t have to block an already cramped space?


I wonder if toilet cleaners make mental notes about people who use their toilet. Oh shit, not this guy again, sigh. *Puts on heavy-duty gloves*


Some people actually watch football games in the toilet without using headphones or muting their phones.


I wonder how many shit particles are stuck to our phones after a week of regular usage?


Just some random thoughts I’ve saved from my experience using public toilets.

Cashless

Today I left home without bringing my wallet – something I only realized when I was lining up to pay for my lunch. Fortunately, it was before I had received my food so it wasn’t really a problem. I had to go home to get my wallet and I wasn’t far from home. But then a thought occurred to me – this wouldn’t be a problem if I had some sort of mobile payment system on my phone. But even if I did, the restaurant I was at didn’t support mobile payment. It’s already hard enough to find lower-end places that accept credit cards. I think by the time this country has support for virtual wallets nationwide, we would have eyeball or wrist implant wallets.

One one hand, I see why businesses don’t support virtual wallets – there aren’t enough users. However, without any businesses supporting them, people are unlikely to bother signing up for them. It’s a chicken and egg situation. Another issue present is – which wallet does a business choose to support? It’s not like Visa/MasterCard where you’ll find support for either one everywhere. There are so many digital wallet systems available, it’s hard to pick one over the other. Would it be feasible to support all of them? I’m not sure about the paperwork, but I would assume it would be a nightmare to settle it at the end of every month/week/quarter.

On the other, digital wallet support would make it so much easier for consumers to spend money. Instead of lining up at ATMs to withdraw money, people can wave around their phones to pay for stuff when they have no cash on them. People won’t have to worry about getting robbed anymore (everybody has their phone protected these days right?) since they won’t have their cash on them. When you make paying such a simple process, people can spend more money impulsively.

But there’s no telling how long virtual wallets will last, and if it’s going to be the main form of payment (the world of tech moves so quickly – these systems could easily collapse and be replaced by something more efficient any time). But it would be nice to enjoy them in the meantime. Like how Touch and Go is being used by almost every car park today, I’d love to see a greater adoption of convenient technologies.